While this holiday season is muted for those of us who lost loved ones in December, by loving people despite our differences, we are truly living the commandment of so many faiths – to care for one another.
I had this sense that I was participating in making the world into a place that was not shaped by Doug, that would continue without him. That I was undoing the evidence of his life. That undoing felt like betrayal. This has been a theme for me in grief and loss, the sense that moving or changing or getting rid of a loved one's possessions is transgressive.
Let go of the old exploitive, unjust ways, repent and transform. And keep dancing with Shiva. Admit the joy to your pain, of the death of every instance and speaking poetically, every hope of rebirth.