‘Cutting’ across the grain: A bias called compassion

‘Cutting’ across the grain: A bias called compassion

Commentary by Paul Graves | FāVS News

She didn’t say a word until just before our group conversation was over. A small group of Christians and non-Christians gathered in Spokane to explore some of the implications of one of my recent faith-and-values columns, “Indifference Makes a Difference.”

Andrea (not her real name) finally spoke of the toxic bias against her faith tradition that made it difficult for her to speak to others not part of her tradition. But it was clear she was morally courageous and yearned for a safe space to share even a glimpse of her anguish. For those moments, that grace-space seemed to exist for her.

Then our meeting was over. Andrea left. My wife and I left shortly after. As we drove up to a stoplight near the freeway, we saw another woman with a hand-written sign that asked for help.

We also saw Andrea! She walked up to the other woman and looked to see how she could help. Cars behind us made it difficult to do anything but continue onto the freeway.

But my heart keeps drawing me back to Andrea’s effort to make some kind of small difference in that other woman’s life. I’ll likely never know what happened in that encounter. But I will remember Andrea’s compassionate effort. Her bias called compassion made a difference — in me, if not to the other woman.

In that moment, Andrea embodied the French mid-14th century word compassioun, “a suffering with another.” She was deeply pained by others’ toxic bias. But that didn’t stop her from extending her faith’s gracious bias in favor of persons who needed to be loved.

Yes, there are at least two kinds of bias alive in our culture, our world. “Bias” means much more than “bad attitude”!

Bias that cuts across the grain

Years ago, I learned about “bias” from my quilting wife. As she prepares material to be pieced, she often cuts the fabric “on the bias.”

Fabric cut on the bias simply means it’s cut across the grain. It not only creates a different look on certain patterned fabric, but it allows the fabric to be more flexible. For example: Often the binding around the edge of a quilt is cut on the bias so it can more easily go around the corners.

Consider how compassion can “cut across the grain.” Jesus challenged his listeners in Luke 6:36 to “Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate” (CEB). But first he says, “Love your enemies” in verse 35.

Jesus’ sense of compassion is often “across the grain,”, as in the Good Samaritan story. The despised Samaritan is actually the neighbor who showed extraordinary compassion.

Bias that cuts with the grain

Our expressions of compassion can too often be “with the grain” (the easiest way). We keep things smooth by doing what’s expected of us. We might even dismiss compassion in favor of the “bad attitude” bias we too easily embrace.

It’s easier to pre-judge others before we understand who they are deeper down. It’s much easier to not suffer with another person when we don’t have any sense of who they are or why they might be suffering.

I have minimal knowledge of who Andrea is — or how her non-Christian faith tradition has made her cautious. What I do sense is that somewhere she has learned what we Christians are challenged daily to learn from Jesus: to cut across the bias of our negatively invasive cultural biases to recognize someone who is suffering in some way.

We may imagine that person as an enemy, or an “other.” Our learned response is to let that bias control our reaction to them. Andrea reminds us to cut across the grain … and be compassionate!

The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.