As though the American public was not already terribly polarized and reactive around subjects pertaining to women’s bodies, TIME magazine jumped in this week with a controversial cover: an image of a trim, blonde, good-looking mother nursing a toddler son, accompanied by the caption, “Are you mom enough?”
I realize the intent is to sell magazines. If offense or controversy or shock helps, it is used. But I’m not sure what to make of the image-caption combo. Is it a dare? Are we meant to gasp and dismiss this hot momma as a freak? Either way, I’m amazed at the mainstream media’s ability to over-sexualize and shame mothering in one go.
One way to pile on even more controversy would be to put that hot momma in a clergy collar.
I nurse my toddler son, who is just over 2 years old. Sometimes we nurse just before I lead worship, and I find myself pondering the meaning of my body giving nourishment to a child minutes before I will stand at the table of God and share the holy nourishment of bread and wine. I sense the movement of the holy spirit connecting the duties of mothering with those of pastor-ing. As best I can, I try to savor that connection.
Of course, too often I am also checking the clock and under a little stress on Sunday mornings. I rush the nursing and wish to be free to just “go do church,” to make sure I am a good enough pastor. Then worries flood my mind in the opposite direction. Did I shortchange my son? Am I a lousy mom? On either side, there are nagging anxieties about being “enough.”
In the middle of all that worry, I end up speaking powerful words, those of Eucharistic prayer. With hands lifted, I say, “O God most majestic, O God most motherly, O God our strength and our song, you show us a vision of a tree of life with fruits for all and leaves that heal the nations.” Life. Strength. Healing. Fruit enough for all.
In response to TIME magazine’s ploy to sell copies, the gospel of Jesus Christ tells us that God is mother enough for all the cosmos. Creating, providing, nourishing, sustaining us all with life abundant. Parenting will always be a journey beset on all sides with second-guessing and worry. Am I enough? Attachment parenting, while being the style I favor most, is not free from that kind of worry either. Let us root ourselves in God’s grace, knowing that while we will surely make mistakes in all our endeavors including the raising of our children, God’s mercy and love are deeper and wider and richer than our failings.
And we who have decided that nursing our little ones even as they grow bigger, may we recall the lullaby-like song of Julian of Norwich:
Mothering Christ, you took my form
Offering me your food of light
Grain of life and grape of love
Your very body for my peace.
Thanks for this great post Liv!
Well said. I am not a mother, but I watched my wife nurse our two children. It must be truly amazing for the mother to think that life-giving nourishment is flowing from her body into her child’s. That is a bond that us men cannot understand.
I feel like I never escape from the pressures and guilt associated with being a mom. But I often step back and try to remember who’s really doing the pressuring? Because if my husband had his way, I would simply let the dishes wait and join in on the water gun fight he’s having with my son. And when I obsess over how much attention I’m giving my son on any given day, he’ll spontaneously announce that I’m “the best mom ever!” making me wonder why I ever worried in the first place. Is it just time to blame it on the hormones and raise the white flag?
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