A Second Chance At Family

No amount of what I was trying to find before — that which got me nowhere and left me cold — could ever replace the little I have that means so much to me now.

Friday is family night at the house I am able to call my home today. It’s when my children and grandkids get together. Simple food, simple games, simple fun. You know, the simple stuff I must have once thought was stupid and did not want.

I’m not even sure if I can recall what it was I was actually looking to find. Whatever it was, it involved throwing what I should have cherished to the wind, in the trash, and anywhere but holding it in my heart and my hands.

I know the voice of what I do not have, and how it screams at me for my attention. I know how to listen to the lies as it whispers sweetly into my mind and says it should be mine.

I find it easier to weed out some of those lies today. To listen less to what means so little, but has an appeal that can sway me to my very soul.

It didn’t get me because it is nothing and is empty. It got me because it promised to give what I thought I was looking for. I thought it was all there was and there was nothing more.

I have found more of what I was looking for by quitting trying to find it. I have received by doing what I was supposed to be doing the first time I had a go at this.

I failed that time. I have been given a second chance.

In a commitment to live as I should live, and do as I should do, I have found what I did now know I was looking for.