Navigating bad news: Building resilience and community in the face of injustice

Navigating bad news: Building resilience and community in the face of injustice

Commentary by Angela Amos | FāVS News

Following up on my last column regarding the SCOTUS ruling, I wonder if others are struggling with the enormity of all that needs to be done to accomplish and sustain justice and equity.

For my part, I confess that I cannot stop doom scrolling. Well, no. I can. I do not want to stop doom scrolling. My pet cognitive distortion is that the scrolling prepares me for the next horrid event, the next unending tragedy. I know it does not. I know it fuels my burn out, my soul-crushing exhaustion. But, and hear me out, what if this time, it is useful?

Culturally, the idea of self-care has been commandeered into a capitalist idea of buying material items, and these purchases will provide the needed rest and recharge. Mantras have been distilled into items decorated with “let go” and “good vibes only,” as though a tumbler full of lemonade with these sayings will dispel any pain caused by trauma.

Sitting in pain and grief

There are as many platitudes and clichés as there are significantly emotional event. I mention those with derision, because I loathe them. They are silencing techniques. They negate the need to sit in discomfort or honor those who are suffering. We need to sit in the pain and grief.

As Dr. Noelle Turner at Mica Peak Psychology says, “Suffering is a part of life. People all over the world are suffering just like you; that doesn’t mean your suffering doesn’t matter, it means there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way and you don’t have to carry this by yourself.”

Lament is important. Lament is community building. Lament allows us to share each other’s burdens.

So, what can we do? Something that I recall from my early parenting book reads shared the wisdom that it is most useful. That is, share something the child can do, rather than a litany of what a child may not do. To be sure, it is for behavioral modification, but I find it useful for me when the despair is all around me. To that end, I will share what is working for me and what else I can do.

Increasing emotional resilience

What is working for me, when I invest in it, is scheduling breaks for joy and rest. Joy is the opposite of survival, and I want to live and live fully. This includes playing the video game Stardew Valley, playing catch, hiking, playing card games, art time and film nights with my kids. It also includes dates over Lego projects or books with my spouse; lush bath bombs in a hot bath where I read an entire book; and spending intentional time with my friends.

This increases my emotional resilience and window of tolerance, as well as ensuring that I am not attempting to share energy resources that I do not have. It ensures that I have something to give, something to share so that when I ask someone how I can come alongside, I have the ability to come alongside.

In addition, I remember I can only do what can be done. I can serve this person in front of me. I can hear and witness this person in front of me. And I can share my love, skills and abilities with this person in front of me.

It may seem small, but I know we have all had moments where someone sat with us, and love and kindness stays with us always. Those moments matter. Those moments sustain.

Where to start

As a community member, I can attend open city council meetings, I can work alongside SCARS, NAACP, the Carl Maxey Center, the MLK Center, SAN, Feed Spokane and/or PJALS. We all can find an organization whose mission aligns with our gifts, interests and values. I am most partial to Transitions’ Women’s Hearth.

Volunteering and community engagement are not monoliths. It is not only showing up for a shift on site. It can be editing a website, fund raising, organizing supply drives and similar actions. Many of these organizations have volunteer and/or activities coordinators, and they are a wealth of information. Showing up for each takes many forms.

There is a quote from the Talmud that carries me. “Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly now, love mercy now, walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”

As I understand it, it came from Shapiro, Wisdom of the Sages, 41 paraphrasing of Rabbi Rami Shapiro’s interpretive translation of Rabbi Tarfon’s work on the Pirke Avot 2:20. The text is a commentary on Micah 6:8.

There is also part of the Shabbat liturgy that gives me strength. “May of the source of strength who blessed the ones before us help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing.” These remind me of my values and my reason for working in social services.

Most of all, do not shut yourself away. We need each other. We cannot cut ourselves off from community. We need to cultivate it, invest in it and show up for ourselves and others.

In the comments, please share your own process or tips for ensuring despair does not become all the air you breathe.

The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.