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HomeCommentaryThe Problem Isn't My Car, It's Me: A Lesson in Self-Reflection

The Problem Isn’t My Car, It’s Me: A Lesson in Self-Reflection

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Commentary by Walter Hesford | FāVS News

“Couldn’t find any problem,” said the puzzled, gracious mechanic at Moscow Auto. He charged me nothing.

I had taken my car in because I thought not enough gas was getting to the engine so it was stalling.

Turns out I had been giving it too much gas to begin with.  “Remember when starting this kind of car, you don’t press the gas peddle….just the break,” he advised.

Turns out the problem was me.

A Self-Reflection Moment

Heck, I’ve only been driving this car with a fob for three years. How am I supposed to remember these things? But since I’m a master of messing up anything mechanical, I should know by now that when something goes wrong, the fault lies not with the machine, but with little ol’ me.

I am indeed old, and it is true that with age my struggles with the mechanical world have increased, but I’ve always been mechanically inept. My poor father, a master railroad mechanic, despaired at having a son who struggled to open the hood of a car.

The real root of the problem with me lies deeper, however. Like a lot of folk, when something goes wrong, I tend to look for why this happened everywhere but inward.

Relationships, Too

Consider relationships. How often have I wished my relationship were deeper and warmer? How often have I acted on my wishes, taken the initiate to tighten my ties?

Like other Jewish rabies, Jesus admonished his listeners to ground their relationships with their neighbors in Jewish law: “love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18).

In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus advises us to look inward before casting blame on others: “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged….Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, let me take that speck out of your eye, while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.”

What the Gospel Says

The Gospel of John, Chapter 8:1-11, presents a dramatic episode in which Jesus advice to look inward before casting blame is extended to those who would punish one of society’s lawbreaking outcasts.  Members of the Jewish elite bring before Jesus a woman “caught in the very act of committing adultery” and remind him that according to Mosaic law, the woman should be stoned to death. “Now what do you say?,” they ask.

Mysteriously, Jesus just bends down and writes with his finger on the ground, but when the religious leaders persist in questioning him, he says “Let anyone among you who is without sin be first to throw a stone at her.” Then he once again bends down and writes on the ground.

Was Jesus writing the names of men who themselves had committed adultery or in some other way had violated a law, a social norm? In any case the men drift away, “beginning with the elders, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.”

The episode ends with Jesus telling the woman not to sin anymore but he does not condemn her. We might learn from this that blaming others does not lead to a better society or the kingdom of God, but looking within ourselves for the source of problems may.

My Lutheran Roots

As a Lutheran, just about every Sunday I join in a confession of sin: “Most merciful God, we confess that we are captive to sin and cannot free ourselves.  We have sinned against you in thought, word and deed, by what we have done and by what we have left undone.  We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.”

This is followed by a plea that we be forgiven, renewed, and led in the ways of the Lord.

I know that some visitors to my church have been put off by this confession. And I’m sure that some readers will not agree that we are captive to sin and thus need be to freed, forgiven, renewed, or led.

There is danger that one can dwell too much on one’s sinfulness, and wallow in guilt. Nonetheless, I find that confessing my sins, confessing that the problem is me, motivates me to consider what more I can do to express my love for my neighbor and live in the way led by Jesus. 

Not that this will help me drive my car.


The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.

Walter Hesford
Walter Hesford
Walter Hesford, born and educated in New England, gradually made his way West. For many years he was a professor of English at the University of Idaho, save for stints teaching in China and France. At Idaho, he taught American Literature, World Literature and the Bible as Literature. He currently coordinates an interfaith discussion group and is a member of the Latah County Human Rights Task Force and Emmanuel Lutheran Church in Moscow. He and his wife Elinor enjoy visiting with family and friends and hunting for wild flowers.

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Janet Marugg
Janet Marugg
1 month ago

Very enjoyable, Walter. Made me laugh out loud. Your insights remind me of Carl Jung who insisted that “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” The idea of acquiring myself through those who annoy me most is wild. And also rich.

Jung can make a person think that everything in their experience is there for a reason, that something educational or meaningful can be found in the mundane and that enlightenment is always within reach.

Lisa Ormond
Lisa Ormond
1 month ago

I appreciate your emphasis, Walter, on the need to confess humbly and honestly publically or privately our sins/transgressions/the “oops”. In my mind, this keeps the well of compassion, love, and serving alive and recirculating–replinishing to get up the next day. The regroup. Thank goodness all of us together can find ways to make the world work if seek unison.

Paul Graves
Paul Graves
1 month ago

Thanks again Walter! Helpful insights and always welcome vulnerability. As Sue and I prepare to move to Hillsboro, OR in March to be near our family, I’m scheduled to preach at our Sandpoint church on Feb. 9 and 23. The first will be an emphasis on seeing with our hearts and not just our eyes. So your reminder of Jesus’ “speck/log” story was helpful.

chuck mcglocklin
chuck mcglocklin
1 month ago

I love that prayer of confession. I have nothing to give but I trust in the One that gave everything to me as an undeserved gift and the Holy Spirit that can free me from the bondage of sin (selfishness) giving me power to treat others with grace and victory over myself.

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