When churches wound the people they claim to heal
Churches promise refuge and restoration, yet often cause harm through hypocrisy, abuse and exclusion — driving away those seeking authentic faith.
By Morf Morford | FāVS News Columnist
The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News.
“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.” — Frank Zappa
Who of us does not have layers of contradictory feelings, memories, phobias, fears and obsessions wrapped around churches?
In times of plague, persecution or war people often sought refuge in a church building. Who would seek refuge there now? How many of us instead need refuge from church?
How many books or articles have you read about trauma, abuse, deception or other harmful acts committed by church leaders or carried out under the authority or approval of a church?
I know many adults who, as kids, went through every variation of vacation Bible school, camp, youth group and mission trip. Did those experiences prepare and equip them for the major life decisions before them? My observation, at its most generous, would be a qualified maybe. But probably not.
I saw a profile from a “Christian school survivor” who wrote that the current adults who she went to school and church with fit, evenly divided, into one of two categories: happily married with a couple kids who are active in some kind of ministry or queer, atheist activists.
Both sets of people saw their church time as “formative.” One group is forever tied to the church or its corollaries: The other, in most cases, looking back as one might look back on something like a traffic accident or a bad boyfriend.
The worst of humanity experienced in churches
Even as an adult, I have seen, or directly experienced some of the worst of humanity within — or sanctified by — those church walls. Real life, especially in a church, is far too unbelievable to be fiction. Factions, silos, gossip and betrayals – all with a sheen of self-righteousness — are standard fare in virtually every church.
As one church elder reminded me at a point of crisis in our church a few years ago, it wasn’t the atheists that crucified Jesus; it was the religious officials who demanded the death of the upstart prophet from the wrong side of town. It was precisely the faith and tradition that Jesus grew up in that demanded his death.
I sincerely doubt if I would be welcome in the denomination I grew up in. It shouldn’t be that way. The church should be a place of refuge and restoration — for those who grew up in it and those who did not.
Taking seriously the commands of Jesus
I love the church — and considered for several years going into the ministry. But I also have a long history of being dismissed, shamed and even broken at the hands of those representing the church.
Jesus made the point that his critics made disciples even worse than they were (see Matthew 23:15). That seems to be the intent of far too many churches that I have encountered.
People who are fearful, dismissive of other faiths, smug and often controlling are more common in churches and near universal in them than most of us would like to acknowledge.
Where would we direct someone who sought a faith community that took seriously the commands of Jesus. The kingdom of God, the kingdom Jesus calls us to must be somewhere.
The church, as Jesus pointed out, always has, and always will, hound and persecute those who love it the most — those prophets exiled and then, once dead, might be designated as safe — and holding places of honor.
Nietzsche famously made the point that the problem with Christians is that no one wants to kill them anymore.
What if Christians were seen as literally more like Jesus as they lifted up and advocated for individuals that society would rather not have in their neighborhoods (or churches) and who were, all too often, the only ones to challenge inertia and abuse within the religious community?
That has been the litmus test for many centuries — and probably always will be.
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