Bumps in the road: Navigating life’s unexpected turns

Bumps in the road: Navigating life’s unexpected turns

Commentary by Walter Hesford | FāVS News

There’s a wicked high speed hump across from the high school on a busy street in Moscow. If you don’t slow down to the suggested speed, you and your car will regret it.

I’m lumping humps and bumps together. Though there are differences between them, they serve similar purposes, can be equally annoying, and equally necessary. Who likes to slow to a crawl then still have a jarring experience? But we do tend to drive too quickly over streets or through parking lots where folks may have other things on their mind than watching out for traffic.

There are other things that may slow us down. Like the news of yet another school shooting. We will have the call for thoughts and prayers. We will call the shooter a monster. We will maybe reflect on why as a country we are so addicted to guns that we are willing to sacrifice the lives of children to this addiction and do nothing to even begin to slow the spread of gun ownership. 

Sometimes the speed bump news will come from a loved one, like years ago when my mother back in Boston called to let me know that my father had had another stroke and was now in a nursing home she could only get to by bus. I could have, should have, left my job here in Moscow to be with my father and mother in their time of need, but I didn’t. I wasn’t with my father when he died. My regret is a speed bump that I live with every day. 

My recent speed bump

Then there are bumps in one’s health. I’ve been fortunate to not have many of these, but for a few years I haven’t been able to get up from chairs or to walk without a lot of pain, so I decided to have knee replacement surgery that will surely slow me down for a while. For some of my friends, the road through knee replacement seems to have run smoothly. For me, there’s been one bump after another. Even getting the surgery to happen was confusing and complex. From this bump I learned the need to be equally proactive and patient. 

My surgery at Pullman Regional Hospital went smoothly, but then I ran into a painful, embarrassing road bump that revealed a chronic condition. Helping me over this bump were skillful, compassionate nurses. I am especially in debt to my night nurse, a recent immigrant from Hong Kong, who walked me through the dark hours, cleaned up my messes, soothed my anxieties. Thank God we are a nation of immigrants. We need to make sure we continue to be so.

My recovery at home is proceeding well, thanks to a caring family, above all to a stepson and his wife who have come over from Oregon to help. He is both a PA and a physical trainer, so is well-suited to keep me on the necessarily somewhat painful path to recovery without too many bumps. I also have kind neighbors and a church family to pitch in if need be. This makes me mindful of all those without such support.

Looking forward

As I grow older, I know I can expect even more severe road bumps. For guidance in navigating these I look to FāVS News columnist Pete Haug, who has discussed his oncoming blindness. Rather than bewail his fate, he considers it with wit, faith and resilience.

And I look to my 83 year old brother, who had bladder cancer at age 50, has been on a catheter since, and has rumbled over a load of other health road bumps. Through all these years he has remained active in his family, church and community. When I call him and ask him how he is, he always says something like “We’re making progress. We’re looking forward.”

I look forward to being able to drive again in a few weeks. When I do, I will keep in mind advice from Zen Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hahn in his book “Present Moment, Wonderful Moment: Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living.” Noting how impatient Parisian drivers got when encountering red lights, he encouraged them — and us — to regard a red light as a bodhisattva helping drivers return to the present moment and live in it well rather than speed thoughtlessly into the future.

 This may also be the value of a speed bump.

The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.