[todaysdate]
By Kyle Franklin
On Friday, (Oct. 24), we all heard terrible news yet again. Another school shooting. Another tragedy. And, unfortunately, just another news story…
If one were to look at a Wikipedia article on school shootings, he would find that they are nothing new. The first one I remember was December of 1997 in Arkansas. The most memorable for me was Columbine. Columbine occurred on my 16th birthday and, when I returned home from school, my mom called sobbing from her job at another local high school. I don’t know if it hit her hard because of the scope of the tragedy, because I was in high school, because it was my birthday, or any other reason. But her words and her sorrow are etched in my memory.
The entire event is also etched in my memory because each of the national news broadcasts from the major networks devoted their entire 30-minute time slot to covering the tragic events of that day.
Since then, there have been many other shootings and much devastation in families and communities. And it just struck again in a town close to my hometown.
I noticed a two major differences, though. The network national news broadcasts only devoted 2-3 minutes to the tragedy. The second, and worse, difference I noticed is that many people (primarily on social media) said things like, “At least there was only one victim…”
It seems to me that the amount of time the news spends covering these tragedies today is a reflection of the time that we spend devoting to the prevention of these tragedies. I do not mean the number of lockdown drills or plans for when a tragedy happens, but are we allowing and encouraging people to seek help when they are experiencing turmoil? Are we developing deep relationships and open dialogue — especially with teens in the midst of hormonal changes and quickly changing feelings? Are we, as people coming from a variety of backgrounds and faith traditions, being a community that encourages reliance on one another rather than independence and introversion?
And second, there is never a single victim. When these tragedies occur, many are affected. It is our responsibility to come alongside those affected and give emotional support and try to fill any need — even a meal!
Finally, it is important to recognize that the family of a perpetrator also goes through mourning and, unfortunately, is often vilified, investigated, and loses a sense of community. And when the perpetrator dies in the tragedy they cause, their families are also faced with planning a burial and any further memorial services. This is not easy in the best of circumstances, much less when they feel the loss of their community. Simply put, they need the love and support of the community, too.
The first challenge I have for you (and this is a challenge for me, too) is to work within your community to prevent this type of tragedy. The second challenge — and one I hope to never have to face — is to be there when tragedy strikes for all victims involved. Loving and caring for others is at the core of our humanness, no matter what our faith tradition.
“At least there was only one victim…”
I cannot express how much I hate hearing comments like this. But I’ll try.
In one of her nonfiction books, Madeleine L’Engle wrote about her outrage when she heard on the news that “only” fifty people died in Vietnam that day (I may be wrong on the number; I don’t have the book in front of me). “ONLY fifty!” she exclaimed, as if the news report expected her to be happy that fifty people were dead instead of a hundred, as though those fifty people didn’t have mothers who would cry at the loss of their sons.
I absolutely agree: to say that “at least X fewer people died this time” or “at least only one person died” robs that person’s life of meaning. It’s like saying to that person’s family and friends, “oh, your loved one’s life doesn’t matter as much as all those people who DIDN’T die.” I know these comments aren’t intended that way, but that’s how they sound. It’s an insult to those who have lost someone precious to them.
“The reason why you shouldn’t kill people,” writes another of my favorite authors, “is because there is always someone who would cry.”
I believe that. Every life is sacred. Every death deserves to be mourned. And as you pointed out, even perpetrators have people who will grieve their loss.
Thank you for calling on us all to work together to prevent any more school
shootings. Thank you for calling us to practice compassion in times of
tragedy.