Guest Column by DM Marik
Who am I in a crisis? I’d like to think I’m the same person I am any other day. But then, I grew up in crisis and chaos. Every day was a gamble in my house. My father was an alcoholic and we were distressingly poor. My mother worked outside the home at a time when most women didn’t. We were left alone to cope quite often. At age 10 I began working outside our home myself. It wasn’t until I was almost 12 and we moved to the same town as my grandmother that I realized there was another way to live. Not every adult screamed and fought or lay passed out on the floor. Not everyone ate the same extremely cheap food day in and day out, washed their clothes in the sink and purposely isolated themselves in order not have to reciprocate an invitation. How could I think to inflict that stomach twisting panic of the unknown disaster I might be stepping into onto someone I considered might be a friend?
But now I had somewhere else I could go. At my grandmother’s house I was offered a brief respite from the crazy making and given an unconditional love that has sustained me to this day. She has been gone now for over a quarter of a century and yet I think of her daily. I can never repay her nor the many people who have helped me along this journey we call Life. I began to search for ways to pay it forward. I could do small things that didn’t cost money because I’ve never had extra or often even any funds myself.
However, I’ve learned TIME is precious…listening to someone…looking them in the face…SEEING them and know that they know you do. I used to be called the ‘Baby Whisperer’ at the church nursery because I was gifted with being able to calm any child within seconds just by holding them gently in my arms. What people didn’t know was that I would begin to intentionally relax so that my body language would speak safety to those little ones and the response was immediate.
A while ago some folks were berating a German woman’s family on Facebook because of their apparent lack of proactive resistance during the Holocaust. All were bragging about “what amazing things they would have done and Hitler would have had cause to be afraid of them by God!!” We are in the midst of our own world wide crisis. Yet, these same folks are now cowering behind their keyboards and crying over lack of TP and how mean people are and this is a conspiracy plot to undermine their faith and why isn’t the government doing more and they’re going crazy staying at home.
I just have to step back…breathe…and look around my own community to see what the needs are and what I can share to lighten the load of someone else. Every day we wake up to the opportunity of choice. We can never control all that happens to us and around us but then that may not be our purpose. Our purpose can be choosing how to respond and perhaps create a meaningful experience — to grow and mature — stretch ourselves and build something up; whether that be us, our children, significant other, extended family, neighborhood or our world. Cherish today…savour it…stop asking “why me” and ask “what”? What can I take from today and bring forward? What do I need to leave from today and let go of — and depending on your faith value — what do I need to put in the hands of God and step back?
Who am I in a crisis? I hope to be the same person I am any other day, one who chooses to be positive; one who offers safety to the most vulnerable and one who sees the value of today in a sharper perspective. Our voices and actions can be our tools. Let’s use them effectively to mend and not as weapons to inflicts hurt on an already wounded world.
