The resurrection of Christ is central to orthodox Christianity. It is therefore unfortunate for me that I sort of don’t believe it happened, me being a Christian and all.
So I became a defender of biblical inerrancy, the belief that the Bible is completely true. By true, I mean accurate, a word carrying connotations of history, science, factual and physical observation, and impartiality. In my mind back then, there might’ve been a little room for poetic language, but I saw myth, fairy tale and realistic fiction labels as excuses not to take the Bible seriously and, therefore, out of the question.
I began to see Heaven and Hell as ways to live instead of ways of to die. Heaven was connecting with others and myself in empathy; Hell was disconnecting from my own needs and consequently from others’ needs.
The end of the story is that I escaped my mental jail cell without losing my faith. But it wasn’t immediate or simple. It was a complicated process that involved trauma, unconventional theology classes, and listening to the unexpected, still, small voice of the Holy Spirit.