An open letter to the world regarding competition:
It sucks. Yes, that is crude of me to write. And yes, that is at least a double entendre. But wait for that …
First things, first: Proponents of competition-based economies and blah, blah, blah will uphold that competition reinforces principles such as the pursuit of excellence and striving for perfection. They will continue ad-nauseam about how competition helps us become better versions of ourselves and increases the quality of consumable products.
I see things a little differently from time to time. On the literal level, competition sucks the life out of my friends and me as we apply for positions, but keep getting denied because the applicant pool is so saturated that getting an interview is less likely than getting attacked by a shark.
More importantly, it sucks because it makes us all want to be better than … not just better. To get a position, I need to be the best candidate amidst a pool of others, not simply a better version of me. As a coach, it drives me to find whatever way I can to help my son’s U-7 soccer team crush the other six-year-olds on the field. This is comparison of myself against others.
“What’s wrong with that?” you may ask. “Are we not to uphold that glorious free-market notion that the best will rise to the top?” That’s all fine and good, but Nike shoes actually suck compared to Saucony in a lot of ways (by the way, my spell-check refuses to acknowledge that Saucony is a word; Nike is fine), and Lululemon is run by a dude who upholds Ayn Rand-esque philosophy (i.e., Look out for number one) and tell fat women that their bodies are to blame for the early demise of their yoga pants. “It’s true,” you say. “If fat people could just get control of their bodies, then they could join our club of coolness.” Never mind that you now sound like a certain CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, who recently communicated that he will never allow oversized people to wear his clothing, even though he hires said overweight folks to help his business profit. In honesty, it starts to look a lot like a bunch of Sneeches running on their beaches.
But I digress. The point of my writing is to call attention to the particular mindset created by competition that has each of us comparing ourselves to others, hoping that we are not the first person voted off the island: “As long as we are better than that guy/gal/kid/whomever, than we are not the worst, and we must have some value.” This thought process is a sick perversion of what I understand to be the true nature of relationship: compassion, empathy and understanding of the value of others. Jesus identified those who were servants as victors. It seems we uphold a reverse economy to me. Strive to serve as many as you can.
Am I a bitter old man who is writing from emotion? Perhaps. Does that mean there isn’t a nugget of truth in this concept? You decide.
Daryl, there is more than a nugget here, it’s a mountain in a world obsessed with competion. In the midst of it there is an upside down kingdom where we find ourselves in giving ourselves away. A kingdom where the value of people means more than all of the victories we can rack up.
Teach the 7 year olds to value team work and you don’t have to keep score for them, they always know it. And, you’re to young to be a bitter old man, yet. Mike
Daryl –
I agree with Mike, you speak the truth. Servant Leadership sounds ideal. I have lived long enough (by appearances much longer than you) to know that I have yet to see anyone rise to the top in current society by demonstrating those values. Competition forces us all to play head games with ourselves. I wonder how millenials are able to wrap their heads around leaving a childhood filled with praise and reinforcement to a work world that must feel like Mars to them. Do they now feel that Mom and Dad lied to them? Perhaps the millenials will change they way competition works because from what I read they have set limits that defy the boomer “always be reaching higher at all costs” mentality. I hope so.
Wow, Daryl, I have been competitive my entire life and it has helped me succeed in life as well, but it has never controlled my life. Have I out performed someone and got the promotion or new job they wanted, probably. Did someone beat me out of a job I wanted, you bet. Did my Babe Ruth team win a lot of games, yes, but not all. I told my players at the first practice “if we walk off the field the last game of the season a better player than when we walked on the field the first game we are all winners” they all worked hard to improve, but yet remained humble. We have an employer in the area that is very successful and ask these three questions of each candidate, 1) Do you have a family or personal motto, 2)What is the last random act of kindness you did and 3) Do you have or are you a mentor. I serve my employees in the same manner I served my Babe Ruth team, I try to make them better than they were the day before and I ask God every day to help make me a better person, because I know I can be better Christian.
Great thoughts from all of you. And a bit of variety as well. One of the challenges of blog posts is their brevity, and therefore, the ability to add much in the way of nuance or complexity. Mike, I agree: Giving ourselves away every day is my ideal benchmark for excellence. Someone posting on another site said collaboration is the way of the future. Jackie, thanks. I have seen people who ascribe to Servant Leadership attain high levels of influence, but it has been based on their ability to improve others, etc. (See Greenleaf, right?), which is what it sounds like Brad is sharing. Brad, I just commented back in a different group, but again, I’m so glad that you have not had to wrestle with being consumed by competition, and I celebrate the fact that there is another person in the world who is working to help their employees become the best version of themselves.
Thanks all of you for taking time to post comments! Much appreciated.
Before my time (and my time started in the days of B&W TV), there was a TV show about a congressman that always started with this phrase: “Democracy is not a good form of government. But it’s the best form of government we have.”
It seems that your concern about competition (I’ll resist the urge to call it a rant) rings true in a similar vein. Sure, competition sucks, but what’s the alternative? Every four years the US has a competition called an election, that for some bizarre reason people in Iowa and New Hampshire get to determine the key players for. That sucks. But can you think of something better, that isn’t just another form of competition? How about inherited positions? The world of Kings and Queens avoided all this distasteful stuff. But is that what you want politically?
Is servant leadership your answer? Maybe – but only if servant leaders never have to make a decision that includes someone and excludes someone else. What should they do? Hire everybody who applies? That’s something akin to giving all the kids a trophy because “they’re all winners in our book.” But it doesn’t serve the needs of the organization, and that, too, sucks.
The next time you choose a restaurant, you’re choosing among several businesses who are competing to serve you. Do you really want to eliminate that? In the interest of fairness, does Greasy Joe’s Diner deserve equal time and money from you because it’s in the same business as Red Lobster, or one of the other franchises? How about if we let the government form a central planning committee that saw to it that restaurants in Washington are identical to the ones in Texas or Maine? Then we can let the planning committee just go ahead, in the name of fairness, and let us know what’s for dinner tonight? Does that solve the problem?
On the other hand, Jesus didn’t take applications when he chose the twelve disciples. He did, however, distinguish that 12 from the 70 who also were followers, and the 120 who were in the upper room. And for whatever reason, he designated Peter, James and John for special duty, and that didn’t always sit well with the other bunch. Was this competition? Perhaps not in the classic sense of the term.
Competition does suck… especially when you compete and lose. But until we can find another way to serve the needs of individuals, teams, as well as the larger community and the organizations who have entrusted their future to us, I don’t see a better solution… unless until we have that Theocracy we all yearn for.
Andy, great thoughts but theocracy? No. History has shown that to be just as competitive or blood thirsty as any other form of government. Like it or not I compete everyday and ask the people working for me to compete and win. All I can try to do is serve my customers, employees and community along the way.
Andy, thank you so much for your thoughts. I am grateful for your advancement of the discussion, and I’ll spend some time ruminating on them. For now, here are a few thoughts that may or may not relate to your response and questions:
It is just fine to call what I wrote a rant. It is, in part, just that (At times, I appreciate the authenticity of someone sharing their raw thoughts without a huge degree of polish or editing: It can lead to much better discussion, and it can help me learn from others). I may be misunderstanding your communication, but it seems to focus on the external exercise of choice, not the internal emotional value system that make sense of my choice, or my being chosen, as better than another person.
I was hoping to communicate my frustration with the potential detrimental affects of competition regarding the internal measure of one’s worth, win or lose. In other words, when the measure of success or value is relative to one’s position (via competition) to another. Evaluating yourself in such a way has multiple weaknesses. For one, your value is only intact as long as your last victory. Two, in research I have read and conducted, it often leads to a devaluing of the other to justify one’s own position. Three, it can lead to amassing resources to ensure victory, often resulting in power systems and various forms of disparity (On a side note that addresses political systems, this is in contrast to principles of democracy, which uphold the norm of relatively equal power. Within Democratic theory is expressed the ability of citizens “to participate as political equals in making the laws and rules under which they will live together” (Dahl, 1986, p. 324) where political power is evenly distributed, whereas freedom in neo-classical economic theory is choice in the marketplace).
Point taken on whether there is a better system. Aside from the Theocracy you indicate, I have not got the solution… yet. But I am beginning to see a form of it (like an dimly lit reflection, perhaps?).
I used to believe that God chose me in a way similar to how 3rd graders chose their kickball teams (i.e., Who offers the best for our team?) I used to believe I had a lot to offer God. I have come to understand that for me, such a though is highly presumptuous. And yet, I still wrestle at times with an internal monologue that pits me against another follower of Jesus and what he has tasked him or her to accomplish (not unlike the disciples, who tried to figure out who was the leader among them). Jesus made his rubric for choosing disciples clear: I did not choose the best, I chose you that the world may see… It seems to me his choice was based on individual potential to reveal the transformation God can accomplish.
Again, thank you for your thoughts. Much appreciated!
-DG
Competition, like many things in life, can be good or bad, uplifting or downward spiraling. It all depends how we use it and what our intention is. Competition can pit person against person, or group against group, creating hate and disrespect, with a me-against-you mindset that is a fall into the abyss. Or competition can be a means to find the best in each or us with our groups, respecting and honoring the opponent, realizing that the competition raises us to a higher level of honorable and ethical achievement. Your mindset and attitude toward the contest determines the outcome: kill the enemy, or let’s all rise to our higher potential. Servant leadership with trusted colleagues in an honorable quest for all to rise to a better place is what the Good Lord may wish us to learn?
Bob, thanks for adding your voice and thoughts to the thread. Appreciated.