By Mark Azzara
My Dear Friend,
A few days ago Jon Stewart, the host of “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central, apologized for being unable to write jokes in the wake of the Charleston shootings. His statement was moving because it reflected truth in a way I’ve rarely heard. It forced me to once again think about myself.
My neighbor owns two dogs. They bark. Loudly. And a lot. I spoke to him once about doing something to keep the dogs quiet. I tried to be respectful and non-threatening (i.e., not threatening to call the cops). I have often thought about what I would say to him if I feel compelled to confront him again.
My landlord told me the dog-owner’s dad is a police sergeant. My landlord, a church-going, Bible-reading Christian, also said he and the other neighbors are as irritated by the dogs as am I. That includes the couple next door, who are African-American. According to my landlord, the dog owner’s response to the complaints from the wife made it clear he didn’t take her seriously or treat her respectfully because she’s black.
I told my landlord I must pray a lot before I speak even a little. I know there are things going on in that dog-owner’s head and heart that I’m not even vaguely aware of. I cannot presume to know his heart; only God knows what’s in there. And because I cannot know his heart I cannot judge him.
Miraculously – and I use that word intentionally – the dogs aren’t barking as much. Maybe their owner got the message. Maybe he did take some steps to keep the dogs quiet during the day while he’s at work. Having already prayed for quiet in our neighborhood I am somewhat surprised, even amazed at times, that God may actually have answered my prayer – and that of my landlord and other neighbors. The dogs still bark but not for as long. Things are quieter. Praise God!
But God also has taken something bad and is turning it into something good. The barking has forced me to decide between closeting myself in my apartment or taking advantage of all the opportunities to enjoy life outdoors during a beautiful late spring/early summer. I have chosen to get out and live more. So, in that sense, the dogs helped me hear God, who is calling me out of old habits. He is saving me from myself, in other words.
Stewart said he can’t wrap his head around our double standard – indifference toward racial violence at home because we say we can’t do anything to stop it (although, in truth, we would do something if we weren’t so indifferent), and our intolerance of violence abroad because we believe we can do something to stop it (even if, in doing so, we tolerate immoral actions by those who fight for us).
Stewart really was discussing a basic human problem. There is an evil streak in every single one of us. Like Dylann Roof and that dog-owning neighbor, there’s the same tendency in me to ignore, disregard or dismiss anyone I don’t know, don’t like, don’t trust, don’t understand.
This is still more proof that I need a savior – someone who will keep me focused on my need to be saved from the self-righteousness, arrogance and pride that encourage me to believe I’m not like others – that I’m better than they are, which is exactly what Dylann Roof thinks of himself and blacks.
I need a savior who will call me out when I start to think “I would never do that.” I have had to confront some nasty truths in my life of faith in Jesus, among them my often unpredictable anger, most of it self-directed. I recall once being so angry that I hit the steering wheel of my car so hard I loosened it from the steering column.
I also have had to confess my inability to control that anger and my desperate need for Jesus to do so on my behalf – i.e., to save me from it. And he has done so. By Jesus’ saving grace I now see anger as an enemy rather than a friend. I now recognize it while it’s still a long way off, as with that dog owner, and reject it before it can take control.
I also need a savior because it isn’t good enough to simply not hate someone. That would still not address my indifference, which is arguably even worse than hatred because it’s the foundation upon which anger and hatred are built. I am still deep in thought about Charleston and Stewart’s words. I cannot write down all those thoughts in one letter because I still have more to think about – like my need for my savior Jesus to show me the unrecognized, unacknowledged indifference that lurks within me, and then to save me from it.
Stewart can’t wrap his head around our American double standard because he’s a frustrated, concerned human being who correctly senses that we will never eliminate anger, hatred and indifference. The only way to combat that stuff is to love, which is what that Charleston church congregation is struggling to do.
I need a savior who will do whatever it takes to get me to love others rather than mistrust, be indifferent to, be angry with, and/or hate them – even if their response is to mistrust, be indifferent to, be angry with, and/or hate me.
In the wake of the Charleston horror God wants to do for us what he did for me – take something bad and turn it into something good. But we must first ask him to do so, want him to do so, trust that he will do so, and acknowledge we need him to do so because we can’t do it for ourselves. We must admit we need a savior.
I mean no offense to you when I say that you need a savior, too. I have no idea what you need to be saved from, but you are just like me and all the rest of our fellow human beings. You are no better than anyone else. If you think you are, you’re just like Dylann Roof.
It’s not easy to confess the need for a savior. Pride objects to it. “Reason” objects. Indifference objects. But history testifies against them. As the philosopher George Santayana once said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” And humanity has a very short memory.
Stewart’s statement falls short because he fails to acknowledge that he and we need a savior – i.e., that we need to experience God’s love for ourselves and one another – and that, in the absence of such a savior, we will continue to see a replay of the violence in Charleston for as long as the human race exists.
All God’s blessings – Mark
