From dream home to reality check: Navigating the edge of homelessness at 62

From dream home to reality check: Navigating the edge of homelessness

Commentary by Lisa Ormond | FāVS News

I read with much interest this recent news story homelessness in FāVS News. It’s a topic I care about — the homelessness plight of my neighbor. But it also struck a chord with me personally, deeply. 

The story was a thorough presentation of the knotted layers that face our fellow Americans who are homeless across this country and in our communities —a nd our struggle to find viable ways to give them shelter. I live in a home, and I consider this a damn blessing every day that I wake up with my head on a pillow.

Admittedly, I have never been homeless except for a brief time when I was in college in the Los Angeles area trying to make ends meet. I’m grateful and consider myself privileged because I haven’t had to live on the street as a way of life. Still, that is changing for me. 

Ironically, right now, I am feeling a bit of a twinge of what homelessness might be like at 62-years-old. Within the week, my own will go on the market for sale, and I will not have a home to be in. This raw reality has created a humbling walk for me to ponder and ruminate. Where will I lay my head and close my eyes at the end of the day? Yes, this feels quite unsettling and vulnerable. 

A life turned upside down, road to homelessness 

I’m in the throes of dismantling my rural home (and my life) of five years that I’ve owned with my husband of 35 years. We moved here to build a vision and a life together, our dream house, to ‘grow old’ happily putzing around the chickens during the day and watching the shooting stars in the Idaho sky at night. However, mental illness struck my husband down out of nowhere a few years back, and life came crashing down around us. 

Our ‘dream’ home now is overwhelming and strangling us under the new paradigm shift of daily life’s circumstances of doctor appointments, difficult winter requirements to sustain ourselves and connectivity hurdles that make it nearly impossible to do business from a rural home front, among other activities that used to be welcoming like gardening and weeding that are too taxing to confront. 

We must leave it to survive, to build some other life as a married couple going forward if we can — which is still in question. We have plenty of love between us and hope it can carry us to a new place and space of peace.

The reality: Going somewhere unknown 

If our house sells, I will have no place to live. My husband currently resides in an apartment where he can be comfortable and carefully cope with daily living along with his mental health struggles that continue to baffle us both as well as his medical doctors. I am holding our home together until it sells, and I will then try to find my way to a place nearby. This feels quite uncomfortable. I wonder and imagine — where I will go and how it will feel. I am a person of faith, so I know I need to surrender and let God take it from here. Trust. It is quite the test. The Bible scripture that I hold on tight to is Philippians 4:13: “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” 

Clearly, my personal circumstance is a far cry from an actual experience of having no home and living on the street every day and night. I respectfully acknowledge this. Yet pending homelessness feels real to me right now. This splash of cold reality is a reminder that anyone can find him or herself on the street due to unexpected, unforeseen situations called “life.” None of us are immune. It doesn’t take much to get there if a turn of fate wraps its arms around you and brings you to your knees. Please be kind to others who find themselves in such dire straits of homelessness not of their choosing and help when and where you can. 

The meaning of home and its blessing

A home represents more than a structure of cover, comfort and safety. Although intrinsically we know this, we often go about our daily walks in a bit of a fog and are oblivious to the impact our home has on us as humans — positively and even negatively. Imagine not having a home at all. That hurts. 

I read a book recently titled, “To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings” by John O’Donohue, and he talked about the value and importance of “home.” 

O’Donohue said there are “psychological and spiritual forces at work” in the home space we live. From his viewpoint, in essence, a home represents a “huge inner significance” for one’s mind and soul. I concur now that I am finding myself seeking shelter. 

He also shared that to “grow up”— we all must leave home. Of course, when we are younger and itching to do so, this is exhilarating and a welcomed rite of passage to adulthood that couldn’t come soon enough. 

At my elder age, this seems way different than when I was 22 but still a passage of sorts. I do believe this is a journey of growth and exploration for me as a human and as a wife. Lots to learn and lots to hold dear to my heart as I go along. 

If you have a home, you are rich

Please be grateful for what you have, especially your home, and consider it precious. It is not a wash, rinse, repeat — it is a place to honor, to hold and to cherish daily.

The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.