By Kyle Franklin
Several years ago, I met an oncologist in the town where I grew up. As we got to talking, he told me about a health incident he encountered nearly two decades prior. One day while he was working with a client at the hospital, he experienced severe stomach pain and quickly found himself on the other side of the clipboard in a hospital bed. One of his colleagues determined that he had appendicitis and they prepped for surgery within the hour.
After the operation, the surgeon came to the doctor’s bedside looking like he had seen a ghost. In the midst of the operation, the surgeon saw some internal irregularities, explored further, consulted with another doctor, and surmised that the doctor had advanced kidney cancer. The oncologist himself was rather surprised by the diagnosis — he showed no symptoms and did not feel any different than when he was seemingly healthy.
The secondary effect was that those around him began to question his own abilities as an oncologist. “How could he be effective in his job if he cannot even diagnose himself?” they asked. But they failed to realize that kidney cancer is one of the hardest cancers to diagnose because there are virtually no symptoms until it is too late to treat. His traumatic health incident — the appendicitis — was a blessing in disguise because, had he not had to have his appendix removed, the cancer would (most likely) have remained unknown until it was too late.
Humans are messy. Beyond just the physical illnesses we face, there are also mental, emotional, and spiritual illnesses. And, due to the fact that these illnesses and issues do not have a physical manifestation, they are much harder to diagnose — even for the person experiencing them. We often think that we have eradicated the issues when, in reality, we have buried them deep. But while they are buried, they grow and fester and, at the most inopportune time, make their way to the surface again — often aided with another catalyst or trauma.
To be completely honest, I do not know how to fully address these “invisible” illnesses. But I do believe that most issues lose their power over us when we are open and accountable. Sometimes it takes a companion to delve into these issues and bring a different light or perspective. And sometimes, it takes a companion to bear the burden when it all seems too much to bear. Exploring the depths of our minds, hearts, and spirits can feel like dismantling our foundations. But when we realize that our foundations are not strong enough, it is best to take the time to strengthen them instead of waiting for the ugly side of issues to arise again.
After completing his own treatment and returning to the hospital, the oncologist was marginalized by his colleagues for a short time. But within a year, the survival rates among his patients increased significantly. Because of his own experience, he began asking his patients different questions and approaching their treatment more holistically. Those same colleagues —the ones who marginalized him — began to hold him in high esteem.
When we approach our own issues differently and take on partners to actually get better, we are more likely to find success for ourselves and those around us.
