The most important way we can help is to change the culture in ways that prevent other victims from being assaulted. We need to name and recognize that the legal/criminal standard of clearly expressed lack of consent is an unacceptable social standard. We need to be clear that the ONLY ACCEPTABLE SEX is sex that is EXPLICITLY CONSENSUAL. And either party, at any point, can change their mind.
The myth of some arbitrary point of no return must be rejected. When you love someone, you don’t demand that they have sex, even if you’ve been engaging in foreplay. If your partner decides s/he is more tired that s/he realized and really just wants to stop and go to sleep — you stop. Until we make that the cultural norm, our young people will continue to engage in coercive sex. We will probably never totally eliminate violent stranger rape. But we can and should make date rape virtually non-existent.
