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Wednesday, February 26, 2025

Martin Elfert

The Rev. Martin Elfert is an immigrant to the Christian faith. After the birth of his first child, he began to wonder about the ways in which God was at work in his life and in the world. In response to this wondering, he joined Christ Church Cathedral in Vancouver, British Columbia, where he and his new son were baptized at the Easter Vigil in 2005 and where the community encouraged him to seek ordination. Martin served on the staff of the Episcopal Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist in Spokane, Wash. from 2011-2015. He is now the rector of Grace Memorial Episcopal Church in Portland, Oreg.

Father Knows Best: Where is it easiest for you to notice God?

Just over 10 years ago, our eldest child, Ami, was born. To mark Ami's birthday, I’d like to tell you the story of the day that he came to live with my wife Phoebe and me.

Father Knows Best: Is masturbation a sin?

Is it a sin to masturbate? I'm a man with needs but I don't want to sin. I'm doing my best to repent and looking to be truly a soldier of Jesus Christ with all my heart.

Father Knows Best: Will I ever be happy?

If you want, you can start the work of becoming happy today. I have five suggestions as you begin.

Father Knows Best: Steps toward reconciliation

And then I might gently suggest to her that it isn’t too late to say, “I’m sorry – I made a mistake.”

Father Knows Best: Why does grief hit at such stupid times?

Why does grief hit you at such stupid times? I was driving to the store when it came. There was no reason for it, just tears.

Father Knows Best: My boyfriend won’t give me a ring

What would happen if your fiancé were to give you a ring? If the three of us — you, your fiancé, and I — were sitting in my office, that’s the question with which I would begin our conversation.

Father Knows Best: How did this column come about?

Much like Batman, Wolverine, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, FKB has an origin story. Today, it will be revealed for the first time. It goes like this:

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