Ask A Mormon: What would you change about the Church?

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Emily,

I feel like we readers keep calling you out to explain the trickier points of LDS practices in this column, and you’ve done a great job with those questions, but I know that’s not the only dynamic of your relationship to the Church. For instance, I remember we had a brief but illuminating chat about the challenges of being a Mormon feminist, after a Coffee Talk a few months ago. So, here’s a question: What would you change? What reforms or cultural shifts do you think would be most consequential to the Church’s future?

Thanks, as always,

– Charlie

Thanks for the question, Charlie! One of my favorite aspects of Mormonism is the strong undercurrent of constant growth and progress that threads its way through our entire belief system. That doesn’t necessarily make Mormons any less resistant to change than other people, though, so first off, I wish more people felt inspired by the possibilities of change. The Church as an institution is conservative — particularly in the sense of being cautious, traditional, and changing slowly — but change does happen.

I’ve already mentioned in other columns some of the changes I’d like to see: improved training for lay leaders (particularly regarding abuse situations), better education about our own history on both an institutional and individual level, a continuation of the trend to equalize age requirements for missionaries.

Other changes I’ve hoped for are happening. For example, the new official Church website mormonsandgays.org is a sign of progress. In October’s General Conference, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland openly discussed his struggles with severe depression as a young father. I would love to see more openness and compassion for our brothers and sisters in situations that are so often stigmatized.

I think we as a people — and please understand that these comments are generalities, not necessarily specific to only Mormons and certainly not every Mormon — need to focus more on unity, less on uniformity; to seek out and rejoice in more diversity and less homogeneity. I’d love to see a wider spectrum of political and social views accepted, instead of viewed with suspicion. I want to see more hard questions asked and messy discussions openly celebrated instead of squeezed into neat, tidy, safe answers. I want cultural baggage and “folk doctrine” to be recognized as such and clearly delineated from the real doctrine.

I wish my people were less insular and more open, less sure we had all the answers and more willing to seek the truth that our prophets have told us is found everywhere. There’s a tendency to speak in terms of “us” (Latter-day Saints) vs. “them” (everybody else or “the world”) far too often and I think that’s a generally unhelpful and isolating worldview. I’d love to see more interfaith involvement from members of my church, as a recent article in the official Church magazine encourages.

I am, as you mentioned in your question, a Mormon feminist, and while some — both LDS and not — have declared that to be impossible or at least an oxymoron, I am a feminist in large part because I am a Latter-day Saint. I believe that, as the Book of Mormon teaches, “all are alike unto God” and He loves all of His children equally.

I want to hear more from our fantastic women leaders, both the current leaders and previous ones. They should be quoted far more than they are now in talks and in lessons for both men and women, young men and young women. I think more women should be included in leadership counsels, and I’d remove the gender requirements on callings such as ward clerks, Sunday School leadership, and stake auditors.

I hope the Church will equalize the programs for boys and girls, young men and young women. At the age of 8, LDS boys in the United States automatically join church-sponsored Cub Scout dens, which meet weekly and follow the BSA program. Girls participate in Activity Days no more than twice monthly, and the staffing and financial resources are a far cry from what is devoted to the Scouting program. I distinctly recall how disappointed and discouraged I felt as a girl watching my brothers participate in pinewood derbys, family pack meetings, outdoor adventures, and learning valuable skills, knowing that the Church offered nothing truly comparable for me. Some inequities continue through the teenage years.

On the flip side, adult women have monthly meetings where we socialize, perform service, and develop skills. Many wards organize regular luncheons, play groups, book clubs, crafting groups and other special gatherings for women, but it’s very rare to see a ward where grown men are afforded similar opportunities for getting together. Men have meetings, but they generally revolve around administrative responsibilities and don’t often satisfy social needs.

Some who read this post may be upset or offended. Where I see problems or opportunities for change, they don’t, and that’s fine. I love my religion, my people, my church, and I want us to be the best we can be, consistently exemplifying the highest we have to offer and completely devoid of hypocrisy. We should each strive to be a little bit better, more consistently Christ-like and loving. That’s a tall order, one that no individual or organization can actually attain, but I don’t think that shouldn’t stop us from trying. And the first step is to identify where we (and I!) can improve.