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One of Hyphen's daughter's at her bat mitzvah rehearsal. Photo by Liz Studen
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What is a Bar Mitzvah?
A bar mitzvah is literally “the son of the commandments.” A girl is a bat mitzvah — daughter of the commandments. A bar or bat mitzvah is when someone is considered an adult according to Jewish law. That’s 13 for boys and 12 for girls. From that age on, they are considered adults and are expected to behave accordingly. They count towards a minyan (a group of ten Jewish adults needed to say certain prayers). In Orthodox Judaism, only the men count, but other branches also include women. Children aren’t obligated to observe all commandments, but adults are. A Jewish child becomes a bar/bat mitzvah on his 13th birthday or her 12th regardless of whether or not they have a ceremony. A ceremony is not necessary to become a bar or bat mitzvah.
While not technically accurate, a bar or bat mitzvah is commonly used to refer to a ceremony when someone is called up to read Torah for the first time. It is the community’s chance to welcome the child as an adult. During the ceremony, the celebrant typically leads services and is called up to read Torah, often for the first time. Children can read Torah before adulthood, but aren’t called up for an aliyah (called up by their Hebrew name to recite the blessing and read) before they turn 12 or 13 years old. In Reform, Conservative, and some Modern Orthodox communities, there is little to no difference between the ceremony for a boy or girl. In many Orthodox communities, a bat mitzvah is a small family affair where the girl leads a blessing, but does not read Torah. The ceremony celebrates the child’s coming of age as a Jewish adult, but again, is not required. Often, the boys and girls will do tzedakah (charity) projects of some sort leading up to their ceremony.
Jewish children spend years in Hebrew school (from 3rd grade and up in most Reform congregations and from pre-school in many Conservative congregations) or Jewish day schools (Conservative and Orthodox schools where the Hebrew school curriculum is included in the daily curriculum) learning all that’s necessary for adulthood (parts of the services, reading Hebrew, blessings, etc). Those skills will be used at the bar/bat mitzvah ceremony.
Particularly in recent years, there has been much emphasis and money paid to and on b’nei mitzvah ceremonies, but a child’s bar or bat mitzvah relies only on the child’s Jewishness and age. What they make of that is completely up to the person, the family, and the religious community.
Dorothy-Ann Parent (better known as Hyphen) is a writer, a traditional Jew, a seeker of justice, a lover of stories and someone who’s best not left unattended in a bookshop or animal shelter.
A bar mitzvah is literally “the son of the commandments.” A girl is a bat mitzvah — daughter of the commandments. A bar or bat mitzvah is when someone is considered an adult according to Jewish law. That’s 13 for boys and 12 for girls. From that age on, they are considered adults and are expected to behave accordingly. They count towards a minyan (a group of ten Jewish adults needed to say certain prayers). In Orthodox Judaism, only the men count, but other branches also include women. Children aren’t obligated to observe all commandments, but adults are. A Jewish child becomes a bar/bat mitzvah on his 13th birthday or her 12th regardless of whether or not they have a ceremony. A ceremony is not necessary to become a bar or bat mitzvah.
