Busyness isn’t the way to avoid the hard stuff

Busyness isn’t the way to avoid the hard stuff

Commentary by Tracy Simmons | FāVS News

A poet once said, “The busy have no time for tears.” Lately, I hardly have time for a sniffle.

My plate is usually full — too full — but I admit that April’s approach has me feeling overwhelmed.

In the coming weeks, I’m serving on three panels — one local, one virtual and one in D.C .— while also delivering a keynote and two workshops at a Chicago conference. Most exciting, though, is the FāVS ‘Uniting the Inland Northwest’ city-wide gathering on April 27.

The FāVS team has been working on this event for months, with the hope of bringing the community together after a divisive election. We’ll have a keynote, Professor Itohan Idumwonyi, talking about Ubuntu and how we can build community by seeing the humanity in one another, and we’ll have six breakout sessions addressing key community issues — like homelessness and refugees and youth. 

This event, by the way, will be at the Montvale Event Center from 4-7 p.m. on April 27. We do ask you to register (for free) so we can have a headcount. And, perk, there will be food available for purchase from the Steam Plant! More info at FāVS.News.

But this column isn’t about “Uniting the Inland Northwest.” It’s about busyness.

I’ve been reflecting on why I’ve let myself become so busy and realized it’s always been a coping mechanism — a way to stay preoccupied and distracted. Right now, what I’m avoiding is the growing anxiety many of us share about our country’s future.

Growing up, it was home that I avoided.

At 14, I sought refuge from my oppressive, patriarchal religious home by taking a job at an amusement park. Eight-hour shifts gradually stretched to 10, then 12, then 14 hours. I mastered the art of swirling cotton candy and slicing pizzas, often staying late after the twinkling lights of the rides went dark to clean the soft-serve machines. 

I worked at that park for nine summers.

The work ethic I learned there followed me into college and adulthood, where I wore busyness like a badge. The more projects I embraced, the more I felt I mattered. 

I blew through undergraduate school in three years, trying to distance myself from my family without having to feel the grief that came along with it.

When we’re constantly moving, we don’t have to sit with difficult emotions or confront uncomfortable truths. We don’t have to feel the burn of a toxic family, or the weight of polarization in our country, or witness the growing divides in our communities.

But maybe that’s part of the problem. What if our collective hurrying is preventing us from truly seeing one another?

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote, “There is a realm of time where the goal is not to have but to be, not to own but to give, not to control but to share, not to subdue but to be in accord…”

In this, I see a warning about perpetual distraction.

I’m learning — slowly, reluctantly — the importance of saying no, and I am going to try and take a deliberate step back to allow space for what matters most.

Right now, to me, that’s creating space where people can truly connect. That’s the heart behind our April 27 event — not another busy activity to add to calendars, but an invitation to pause, to see the humanity in one another, to practice Ubuntu: “I am because we are.”

Maybe you’re like me — perpetually busy either running from something, or toward something. Maybe you, too, need to give yourself permission to slow down.

Consider this your invitation. Say no to one thing this week. Say yes to a moment of stillness or a moment just for you. And perhaps, if you’re able, join us at the Montvale on April 27 as a deliberate choice to invest in community when it would be easier to stay busy elsewhere.

Because, although the busy may have no time for tears, they often miss the joy of genuine connection too.

The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.