‘Teach Your Children Well’ shows why small acts of kindness matter

‘Teach Your Children Well’ shows why small acts of kindness matter

After passing an 87-year-old veteran seeking help, a writer turns to a classic song, the starfish story and a vote to ask how small acts of kindness teach our children well.

By Paul Graves | FāVS News Columnist

The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. 

As I pulled up to the stoplight by the mall, I saw the gentleman sitting on his four-wheel walker on the traffic island. His sign said: “Please help an 87-yr-old vet if you can. Thank you.” 

As our eyes met, I raised my hands in a helpless gesture and continued to lead the cars queued up behind me. I felt bad. I knew nothing of his circumstance. Still, I carried him home in my heart, somewhat ashamed that’s all I chose to do. Other excuses drifted around in my mind. 

Now, still thinking of the Veteran’s plea, I wrestle in a new way with the words and impact of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young’s 1970 hit song, “Teach Your Children Well.” Their lyrics have been an ear-worm for me in recent weeks, so I made a new sign for our street corner vigil: “Teach your children well: VOTE.”

I believe our votes in November matter a great deal. I also believe our civic action is one way to “teach our children well.” We are in a critical political time when positive action is essential. We must contribute to making healthy changes in our country’s government — and in our hearts.

I’m particularly pleased that Graham Nash was cross-generational in his musical admonition:

“You, who are on the road / Must have a code that you can live by. / And so, become yourself / Because the past, is just a goodbye / Teach, your children well / Your father’s hell, did slowly go by / And feed, them on your dreams / The one they pick’s the one you’ll know by.        

His second verse reversed his lesson: 

And you of tender years / Can’t know the fears / That your elders grew by / And so please help / Them with your youth / They seek the truth / Before they can die / Teach, your parents well / Their children’s hell, will slowly go by / And feed, them on your dreams / The one they pick’s, the one you’ll know by.

Oh yeah, there are so many life-things to teach one another! At least when we’re open to learning. For instance, I want our son, daughter-in-law and three adult grandchildren to teach me how I might have responded better to the old veteran — or to the next person holding a “help” sign. 

Are you familiar with “The Starfish Story,” a short fable inspired by Loren Eisley’s essay “The Star Thrower”?

An old man walks along the ocean beach after a storm and sees thousands of starfish. He sees a young boy pick up the creatures one by one and throw them back into the ocean. 

I imagine the old man semi-gruffly asks the boy why he wastes his time with rescuing a few starfish when the beach was overcrowded with thousands. The boy’s effort wouldn’t make a big difference.

The boy looked at the old man as he threw another starfish into the surf: “It makes a difference to this one.”  

Little 

I often feel like Don Quixote, tilting at windmills, intent on making a difference. Or like the boy on the beach, trying to make a difference to just a few, insignificant starfish. And I’ve tried to teach our family well that little gestures of difference-making are important — both in the moment and in a more universal way. 

And then I see the old vet. I have more to learn!

The saying from Ecclesiastes 11:1, “Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days,” is a simple reminder that what we offer freely and without expectation of reward is very likely its own reward. Starfish? Bread? Cast away!

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