Yes, I have been on both sides of the matter. I've hurt others in my failure to truly understand and practice my own faith and i've been hurt by other's who didn't understand or practice their own. It's one of the places we get to walk out the forgiveness we pray each time the Lord's prayer comes from our lips.
But in response to the question here's a few of my most poignant memories, moments that still shape how I follow Jesus, serve others and how I choose to pastor:
-In my House Church/Charismatic days, I attended a wedding where at the reception the pastor and certain followers tried to heal a crippled man in a wheel chair who was on the dance floor. He was humiliated, the wedding was soiled and I was deeply embarrassed and left the wedding and the group.
-The last service I attended at the Assembly of God church where I was baptised was a bad memory. I was an emerging follower of Jesus, still struggling with letting go of the old life of partying, drugs and sex. I had an overdose, by God's grace survived, walked to the hospital and after that walked to my church for prayer. I could hardly stand up, I was shunned and humiliated and afterwards in recovery, got a call from my youth leader who chewed me out, shamed me and left me dejected, guilty, which drove me out and away.
-My parents divorced while in the Seventh-day Adventist church, where I attended private schools all my young life. The divorce resulted in drama and trauma and separated my family in the same town. There was serious brokenness and the church never reached out to me, rejected my mother and sent many of us on a downward trajectory of dysfunction, darkness and even close calls with death.
-I attended a non-denomination Christian conference at a church at the invitation of a friend. I showed up on a warm summer afternoon dressed in pants and t-shirt. When I arrived, I noticed everyone was in dresses and suits. I went to the restroom during the event and noticed a sign/diagram inside the men's room that showed the 'proper way' of how men and women are supposed to dress, wear their hair etc. I walked out of the meeting and never returned.
-My first encounter with a christian who wanted to evangelize me, was when I was hitchhiking in southern Oregon and a man picked me up in his pickup truck. He looked at my long hair, Motley Crue t-shirt and the crosses dangling from both my ears and proceeded to chastise me for wearing a religious symbol in disrespect. I told him the next street was my stop, got out and walked the rest of the way.
-Post-conversion I was a pretty fired up and spent a lot of time downtown Portland reaching out to teens and men who were homeless. One time I was in Pioneer Square carrying a bible and smoking a cigarette during a lull between conversations. A religious guy name Rollo, who wore robes and no shoes and had a few disciples following him around, came up to me and looked at the Bible in one hand and the cig in the other and said: “If you are going to come down here and talk to people, you should leave one of those at home.”
-During high-school we held a bible study at a friends apartment. We had a good group of young people coming and committing their lives to Jesus and trying to live lives of witness and community. One night we invited a couple elders from church to come and lead a study. During the study, we stopped for a break and some of us who still smoked, went outside for a cig break. When we resumed the study, the leader threw a rubber pile of puke on the table and said quoted the passage in revelation about Jesus vomiting out anyone who was lukewarm. He then chastised us compromising christians for smoking and living lives not worth following. Needless to say, the meeting was a downer.
Fun times. It's a wonder God get's anything done with us as His hands, feet and mouth.
Sam said, “Those are some powerful stories. I’m curious, Eric: What meaning/conclusions have you drawn from those experiences?”…”
Well that’s a big question. I think one important lesson I’ve had to learn and relearn is that wherever humans gather, there’s going to be hurt. We hurt one another, some people are jackasses more than others but we all suck. I need saved daily and that knowledge helps me move through the drama and trauma of relationships.
I’ve also simplified my circle of orthodoxy. I can worship, work and witness with a lot larger family of people because I’ve seen how sectarian positions push us away instead of draw us to one another.
I’m more into Jesus than positions and dogma.
I had many similar experiences in churches, actually coming into church as a young atheist. I’ve been spending a lot of time and thought trying to figure out how to heal Christian communities from judgmental and pharisaical people. (Not that I’ve come up with any practical answers so far.) Thanks for sharing. It does make a difference when you know someone else has been where you’ve been.
Eric, do you feel in these experiences that you had any responsibility for any part of the uncomfortable circumstances or was it all everyone else? I am most curious about your street witnessing experiences.
There are definitely Christians out there, and denominations that have some wrong ideas about what being mature in Christ really means. I take encouragement from Jesus statement that He will build His church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it. And again when He says, all that the Father has given to me will come to me, and all that come to me will in no wise be cast out. Those are heartening statements given much of what is going on in and out of religion these days.
Yep, that’s why I started the whole post with:
“my failure to truly understand and practice my own faith.”