Letting go of ‘I’ to find true fulfillment in the New Year
Commentary by Maimoona Harrington | FāVS News
Life got in the way of my writing for all of 2024. I had many things in my mind to write about, but I decided to end 2024 with gratitude and start 2025 with compassion.
As soon as we come into this world, we are expected to meet milestones (because milestones matter!) — from meeting the milestone of eating, talking, walking, making grades, getting an awesome job, having a house, getting married, having a family and the list goes on. Milestones matter for our very own development and growth, but the understanding and the definition of our personal growth can be different in our dictionaries.
One of the milestones is also reaching a certain age in our lives. Times like these give us the opportunity to reflect on what we have lost and what we have gained. I also reached such a milestone in 2024 that made me stop, pause and look at my life from the beginning, from the time I remember my own actions and their outcomes.
Arriving at the milestone of normalcy
On the surface, my life might look like a normal life but those who know me and have been with me on my journey know very well how long it took me to get to this normalcy.
I lived a very unconventional life. Things happened in my life before they should have. I lost the most precious people in my life too soon, had to grow up too quickly, got married too early, had children too young and had to become responsible for two little lives. In the midst of all this, I have been good, decent, mischievous, unorthodox and rebellious. Through all these things, those who came across me perhaps saw a lot of bad in me and maybe some good in me.
My milestone in 2024 made me ponder over many questions. What is the purpose of my existence? What’s my contribution to society? What’s my accomplishment? Am I just a random number in world’s population? What can I do? How can I make a difference? Have I done what I wanted to do? Am I able to love and accept God’s creation as he loves and forgives us all and continues to bless us despite all our faults?
Moving beyond ‘I’
While I am still seeking answers to these questions, I feel an emptiness, a fear, a desire to do so much … I want to do all the things in life I have missed out on. I want to be a child again and spend more time with my parents. I want to be in school again to learn more.
My “I want to” list goes on, but I want to move beyond, “I.” I want to do something for others so I can find serenity and fulfillment within myself. I want to achieve this by doing good, by being good, by accepting and loving all God’s creation.
In the end we will all reach the final milestone of our lives: death. “Memento mori.” Remembering death does not mean to fear it but to be prepared for it. It is a reminder to live fully no matter what challenges we face and make a difference.
My belief tells me what I would do in this world will go with me to the other. As humans we are a mold of good and bad some better than others and some worse than others. But through empathy, forgiveness, forgetfulness, kindness, acceptance, resilience and compassion we can nurture peace and love each other as we are only humans.
As the sun sets in 2024 and rises in 2025, let’s make 2025 the year to “Forget, Forgive and move Forward.”
Find answers to whatever questions you have for yourself. Look for serenity within you. Leave individualism and focus on collectivism. Focus only on the good in people. Be compassionate and grateful for what we had and what is yet to come. It is another chance to do what we have not done, till we reach our final milestone.
The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.
Thank you for this Maimoona!
You are very welcome. Thank you for the platform “FāVS” where I can voice my opinions and emotions.
We’re so happy to have you!
This is not meant to be negative, but just a reflection on my own journey.
I spent the 70’s, my 30’s, seeking out the questions you ponder. Psychology, sociology (I had emersed myself in my grandfather’s National Geographics growing up) philosophy, religions, myths and fables, mysticism, magic and the occult, I started to read the Bible because it was high on every list of “wisdom literature” I came across.
It was different. Yes, it had most all of the good we are to do, but it emphasized a truth that I had experienced over and over again: I could NOT overcome my sin, my hedonistic selfishness, by looking inward. I needed help from an outside of me source.
Every source (with exception of the Bible, looking to God and the occult, looking to Lucifer) of uplifting humanity looks to self; how we can change and become better. But few, even the leaders and self-help gurus, lift themselves up past mediocrity.
We see thousands excel in business, sports, acting, etc., because the focus is self, but that does not translate into being a “good” person.
So, what is different about the Bible? it gives the solution to becoming a good person: letting go of I.
God does not ask us to “become” or “make ourselves better”. He promises to do it FOR us WHEN we surrender our will to Him. But here is the catch that most, even Christians, miss: He created us and knows what He created us for. When we surrender our will, it is giving up what we “think” is best for us (Timex wristwatch) for what He knows we are (Big Ben). And I am not talking about notoriety. It is God that sees us for what we really are and the world thinks we are a broken sundial.
Like sin, He sent His Son to die in our place. He did that FOR us because we could not do it for ourselves.
For the Christian: STOP thinking and saying, “I am a sinner and I can’t change”. Yes, you are and you can’t, but God has given you the Holy Spirit to give victory OVER sin (selfishness) and when you sin you have rejected the Holy Spirit’s help. Like those that Jesus healed, believe you have victory and STOP the sin.
For Maimoona: you believe in God. STOP looking inward for help. There is nothing there. Look to your God for help Who is more than willing and CAN help.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my column. And for sharing your in depth insight and words of wisdom. God Almighty indeed is the best of Help.
For what it’s worth, I disagree with Chuck. The Golden Rule is a reliable and universally adopted ethic. Self-reflection is not the only way, but it’s necessary to know how we like to be treated so we can treat others with similar supportive actions. Maybe we need more connection with ourselves, not less.
I think it’s important to develop a personal philosophy or ethic. History is full of horrors committed by people who were just following orders or someone’s interpretations from supernatural “dictation.” Outsourcing our morality leads to sloppy thinking and lazy ethics.
Also, nonbelievers are perfectly capable of behaving well without a god.
Oh, and just so you know, Maimoona, people with the worst past can design the best future. I look forward to seeing what you come up with.
Janet, you are right and that is what I did, but as the world does: I treated those that were nice to me like I wanted to be treated. I was, to most people, a “good person”.
But when the Bible says to love your enemies, do good to those that hate you and would kill you, that seemed, and was, for me, too much. I resented people who were evil, yet, in my own heart, I knew I was evil and could do what they did. I had been with those that did evil. I stood on the line and contemplated it.
And that, thoughts of vengeance and retribution, I could not change.
To give up all my earthly desires, goals and dreams to serve others was not easy, but the blessings have far exceeded what I had desired for myself.
And thank you for noting that people, even the worst of us, can change.
Memento mori is a great writing prompt! Appropriate for everybody, religious or not. I’m interested to see if what I think matters most today changes. I like to think my moral compass’ best true north is steady. I opened a 2026 calendar to write about it next year. What will stick? Patience, I hope, because I’ll have to wait and see.