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Church leaders can build trust by embracing vulnerability
True leadership means admitting mistakes, embracing humility, and creating a culture where vulnerability, grace, and changing one’s mind build trust.
By Patrick Scriven | FāVS News Columnist
The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News.
A few weeks ago, U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez told ABC’s Jonathan Karl, echoing a fellow New York Democrat, that the “woke” politics of the early 2020s “was crazy.” It was a surprising admission from a politician closely associated with the progressive left, and, skepticism about her motives aside, a shrewd one.
Changing your mind is politically risky in an unforgiving internet culture, but when you do, it matters. A mea culpa offered in a friendly interview lands very differently than the same words said defensively on a political debate stage.
Given how much of Christianity centers on repentance and forgiveness, it’s striking how rare mea culpas are in the life of the church. Maybe we buy into the myth that leaders should be superhuman and mistake-proof. Or maybe we simply expect to be judged harshly if we admit we were wrong.
A co-worker of mine was reminiscing the other day about a former colleague of ours who was put on the spot when someone pointed out an error in his presentation. Rather than getting defensive, he acknowledged the error and quickly committed to correcting it, using some healthy self-deprecating humor along the way. His response in the moment engendered more trust, not less.
That’s the pattern with the best leaders I’ve known: They’re unusually gifted at naming their own shortcomings. That kind of leadership creates room for vulnerability across an organization, which makes it easier for everyone else to admit their own mistakes, too. People take more risks and experiment more freely when they believe grace, not perfection, is what’s actually being measured.
If we believe good leaders listen, we have to make room for the possibility that listening sometimes changes our minds. Our values can stay constant even as our read on a given context shifts, and a little humility goes a long way, especially when church leaders step into contested territory. Leading with patience and grace makes it far more likely we’ll receive the same in return.
So: What have you gotten wrong, and did you say so out loud? Which deeply-held belief have you had to let go of, and what finally moved you? And when you think about the leaders you admire most, is there something you expect of them that you haven’t yet asked of yourself?
May God continue to work in and through us to make a difference in the lives of those we meet.
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