From cult to culture: Understanding the fine line between belief and bondage

Commentary By Pete Haug | FāVS News

We’re all prisoners of our cultures, especially the ones we grew up in. Our families, friends, neighborhoods, faith communities — all leave their influences on us. Long before we’re aware, before we can do anything about it, cultural influences shape our attitudes and behavior. If we’re raised in a cult, our thinking will be cultish, until we break free. If we can.

Last month the commentary, “Self-reliance: The importance of encouraging kids to think for themselves,” described two women who, as girls, were molested by male peers and church officials. They, as are many young people, had been programmed by the culture they were immersed in to respect authority unquestioningly.

They’d reported their molestations to trusted adults, who made the victims themselves feel guilty for what had happened. By the time the victims could think for themselves and were able to break free, lasting harm had been done.

Curiosity — our natural protection

Children are curious. They begin asking “why?” at around age 2. They continue for a few years as their brains develop. Why do they stop asking? One reason is negative feedback from adults who discourage curiosity. They tell a child questions are not welcome.

Children instinctively want approval from adults. Negative feedback can produce guilt in a child who legitimately asks for explanations. It reduces that child’s ability to question any authoritative adult — parents, clergy, teachers. Negative responses stunt a child’s natural curiosity, an essential component of human ability to think independently.

A child thus stifled may eventually withdraw, stop enquiring, seek guidance from peers and possibly rebel. Such withdrawal prevents children from seeking wisdom from elders — parents, clergy and teachers. That wisdom, though not infallible, can guide a child along productive pathways, especially when offered with love. Withdrawal and rebellion can ruin a child’s life for decades, perhaps forever.

Thinking for oneself

The “self-reliance” post explores the importance of learning at an early age to think for oneself. Parents believe they know best for their children. Their mature experience often makes this true, but not always. Cutting off children’s questions risks cutting off our children themselves. They’ll always find answers elsewhere.

Recently I received an email from a friend, an evangelical Christian who read my post. The church mentioned in that post is one she had attended for several years. It was where “Jesus found” her, and she, him. She was married in that church. She still has difficulty processing. “I think now I was in a cult,” she wrote.

She observed that these kinds of churches “aren’t really a denomination,” calling them “a church culture … pastor-led.” She wrote she’d been affiliated with that church “more than half of my life … Wow. Just writing that,“ she concluded, ”gives me pause.”

Another friend struggled for years to recover from her childhood and early adulthood experiences in a cult. She was raised by a single mom who was strongly influenced by the pastor. Since my friend left that cult, her mother, still a member, has severed all communications with her daughter. My friend is now a successful educator and entrepreneur, but her recollections of earlier years are chilling.

Culture versus cult — Is there a difference?

There is, as explained here: “A cult is a group of people who are excessively devoted to a figure, object, or belief system, while a culture is a way of life that includes a population’s arts, beliefs and institutions.” Culture identifies people sharing similar outlooks. “Culture” is also used to represent voluntary associations, like “corporate culture.”

Cults, on the other hand, are “excessive,” requiring devotion to personalities, objects or beliefs. They’re excessive in requirements imposed on followers, such as questioning “authority.” A charismatic cult leader can shape the beliefs of followers, sometimes leading them to their deaths.

I find it reprehensible when trusted spiritual leaders seek to control followers by imposing their own interpretations of God, an Unknowable Essence, on trusting followers in order to manipulate them. Monotheistic religions begin with the notion that there is only one God. Yet Christianity, the world’s largest monotheism, has 45,000 denominations worldwide. What am I missing?

Trusting in God — and ourselves

I believe in investigating truth, or claims of truth, independently. We can rely on others for wise interpretations and guidance, but ultimately each of us must decide independently. But it’s hard to shake off “influencers.” If we’ve been programmed to think in lock-step with others, we can’t decide wisely. If we’ve grown up with such dependencies, it’s likely we’ve been programmed by cultish thinking.

I’ve found prayer to be a good way to think for myself. We supplicate, ask for God’s guidance and wait to act. Sometimes nothing comes. Sometimes we gain insights that guide our decisions. Either way, trusting in God is a first step toward trusting ourselves. If nothing else, it clears our minds of outside influences.

The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.