The moral and relational crisis beneath American division

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The moral and relational crisis beneath American division

America’s moral-relational crisis is fueled by fear, distrust and dehumanization. Rebuilding relationships across differences is key to restoring trust.

By Terry Kyllo | FāVS News Columnist

The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News.

One of the deepest questions many activists, organizers, faith leaders and community leaders ask today is this: Why don’t people seem to care anymore?

After violence, cruelty, corruption or public dishonesty, many people feel exhausted and bewildered. It can seem as though empathy itself is disappearing. Some conclude that America is in a moral crisis.

Others argue that we are facing a relational crisis — a collapse of trust and connection between people and groups. The truth is that we are living through both. We are experiencing a moral-relational crisis.

Living in separate worlds

Today, many Americans experience immense distance between groups. We increasingly live, worship, work, socialize and consume media inside separate worlds. Fewer people have meaningful relationships across political, religious, racial or cultural differences.

At the same time, most of us now receive information about other groups through third parties — social media, podcasts, partisan news, influencers and algorithms designed to maximize outrage and fear because outrage keeps us engaged.

These systems often profit by keeping us suspicious of one another.

Over time, many people begin to believe that other groups have abandoned the moral framework that makes society possible. Nearly every group fears that other groups no longer care about truth, fairness, restraint, dignity or mutual responsibility.

And when people believe others have abandoned the social contract, fear grows quickly.

To be clear, there really are individuals, organizations and movements acting out of greed, domination, cruelty or a desire for power over others. This has always been true throughout history. Human beings are capable of tremendous compassion — and tremendous harm.

Differences in tackling public crises

America also faces real public policy problems that deeply affect people’s lives. Economic inequality, racism, political corruption, loneliness, media systems built on outrage, housing insecurity, violence and many other issues deserve serious attention and action.

But an important question remains: Why do so many people go along with destructive movements or tolerate behavior they would once have rejected?

One reason is that many people have become convinced that other groups have already abandoned the moral expectations that make civilization possible.

Human beings survive through cooperation. We always have. Civilization itself depends on enough trust that people believe others will mostly follow shared moral expectations. But when that trust weakens, societies become unstable.

People still want to think of themselves as moral people. But when they become convinced that “everyone else is cheating,” “everyone else is lying,” or “everyone else is willing to harm us,” many begin to feel they have no choice but to engage in outrageous behavior themselves.

This is one of the ways dehumanization works.

Fear lies at the root of dehumanization

Dehumanization tells us that what we love is under threat from another group. Then it creates moral permission for behavior that would otherwise feel unacceptable — “just this once.”

But what happens when every group is taught to fear and dehumanize every other group? We arrive at the moral and relational breakdown so many people feel today.

This helps explain something many people struggle to understand: why outrage alone so often fails to create change. 

The anger many people feel is understandable. Sometimes it is morally justified. There are real injustices, real dangers and real harms happening in our society. But simply yelling at people to “care more” often does not solve the deeper problem because it does not rebuild trust.

In fact, outrage can become just another voice inside a culture already saturated with outrage. Even morally-grounded rage can begin to sound like one more contribution to the endless rage machine.

Most people have not actually given up on the social contract. Most people still want safety, dignity, fairness, belonging and a future for their children. The deeper problem is that we increasingly believe other groups have given up on those things.

Rebuilding trust matters

This does not mean ignoring injustice or pretending differences do not matter. It does not mean abandoning accountability. And it certainly does not mean avoiding difficult policy debates.

It means recognizing that human beings rarely move toward cooperation when they are constantly humiliated, shamed, isolated or dehumanized. We will still need to debate public policy. We will still disagree strongly about economics, immigration, education, policing, healthcare, religion, race, climate and countless other issues.

But those conversations go very differently when people see one another as human beings worthy of moral concern — and believe others see them that way too. A society cannot solve complex problems through endless scream matches.

Trust is rebuilt when people encounter one another as human beings again. Group to group. Face to face. Person to person.

When people begin to form real relationships across lines of difference, something important happens. They often discover that while disagreements are real, most people have not actually abandoned one another after all.

Foundational work of building bridges

This is one reason bridge-building is not “extra” work for society. It is foundational work.

A healthy society requires more than shared laws and institutions. It also requires enough trust between groups that people can imagine a shared future together.

Without that trust, fear grows, dehumanization spreads and every group becomes vulnerable to believing the worst about every other group.

But when people rebuild relationships, tell truthful stories and work together across differences, they strengthen the social fabric that makes democracy and shared life possible. That work is slow. It is imperfect. And right now, it is urgently needed.

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