A Mustache Is a Mustache
Commentary by Steven A. Smith
Sometimes a mustache is just a mustache.
But clearly this is old think.
Apparently, if The New York Times is to be believed, the mustache is the new, hip form of facial hair for American men. And the size, shape, texture and twist of the mustache is the key to a man’s personality. In this hip new world, the mustache is supposed to send a message.
According to The Times, the age of the hipster beard has ended. Those hipsters who seemingly popped up everywhere, most often behind bars or as waiters, are shaving their beards but leaving the mustache.
The truly hip, emulating the men they see on TV, sport a beardstache (or is it stachebeard). You know the look. A nicely groomed strip of hair under the nose and a face sporting three-day-old stubble. I always thought that was just a lazy look. But now it is hip if your stubble is dark and thick enough to show.
Says The Times, “Though it’s hard to separate data about mustaches from data about facial hair trends more generally, those in the industry say that the rise is pronounced and recent. Once the domain of the creeper, porn star, countercultural icon or out-of-fashion uncle, the mustache is becoming just another option for facial hair.”
A Little History about My Mustache
I have had a mustache since I was 18, often as part of a full beard.
I was never a creeper, porn star or countercultural icon. I suppose some might argue I am an out-of-fashion uncle.
The Times continues, “There are many reasons (for the return of the mustache). The mustache is masculine but playful in a world enjoying new ways of engaging with gendered styles. It was poised for a comeback after a decade of everyone having beards anyway, and quarantine allowed scads of people to give it a try and realize they liked it.”
All of this tells me it is time to shave.
But the fact is I never was making a statement about fashion. I was never trying to achieve a playful masculinity. I was just trying to hide a weak chin. And fundamentally, I do not like to shave, a practice I can avoid most days since retirement.
Hipsters Have Spoiled My Indulgences
Regular readers will know I am a contrarian. If everyone is turning right, I prefer to go left. When one of my indulgences becomes a fad, I tend to drop it.
Over the years, hipsters have nearly spoiled three important indulgences that have become part of my personality that help define me to the world.
These indulgences are important to me because each has roots in my childhood and my relationship to family.
Cigars, Fedoras and Facial Hair
First, cigars. I first learned to smoke cigars when I was 18. I was introduced to fine cigars by a work colleague and mentor. But in truth, the ritual and the aroma reminded me of my grandfather who smoked Dutch Masters for as long as I could remember. To this day I am reminded of him whenever I light up.
But my cigar indulgence was threatened some years back when cigar smoking became the latest hipster fad. Even my women friends smoked.
Second, fedoras. I have been wearing fedoras for nearly 40 years. I buy my hats from the same Portland hat shop that served my father and grandfather. I wear felt fedoras in autumn, winter and spring. After Memorial Day and until Labor Day, I wear straw fedoras. The look was always distinctive and mostly my own until hipsters hijacked fedoras about 10 or 15 years ago. Even little kids, boys and girls, could be seen wearing little itty bitty ones. I almost switched to ball caps.
Third, facial hair. I always thought my chin was weak so when I was about 18 or 19, I grew a full beard. And I wore that beard until I was about 30. When it came off, I kept the mustache. It has been a part of my face for that long and I cannot imagine myself without it. And now I find the hipsters are after even that.
Complimenting a Mustache?
Says The Times interviewing Christian Illuzzi, an artist who has been sporting a mustache for a few weeks. “I’ve gotten compliments before but never as much as on my mustache,” Mr. Illuzzi, said, echoing the experiences of others. “Guys on the street will say, ‘Hey, awesome mustache.’”
I may be traveling in the wrong circles, but not once, ever, has anyone come up to me to compliment my mustache. If I were part of the current hipster trend, I would be sad about that.
But we know this about hipsters. Today’s faddish trend will become tomorrow’s forgotten style.
I look forward to the day soon when my favorite bartender will be sporting a forehead tattoo. “Hipster and Proud.”
That is one trend I will not argue against and one I need never adopt.
