Why I’m finally quitting social media after 20 years on Facebook and Instagram

Commentary by Sarah Henn Hayward | FāVS News

I distinctly remember when Facebook first entered the zeitgeist. I was a freshman in college at Marquette University when several of my friends started pestering me to join this new thing called Facebook. 

“You can be my friend on there, and we can write on each other’s walls!”

“Um . . . what? Aren’t we already friends?”

I did not understand the appeal, especially when those friends joked about what a time suck the whole thing was. This was Facebook’s first year, when you needed a .edu email to join. There were no videos, no “like” buttons, not even a newsfeed feature yet. Just people’s overly earnest profiles and Facebook walls where you could post photos, jokes or engage in public flirting.

After sufficient harassment, I joined, and I’ve been plugged in ever since. My use of Facebook declined drastically after Instagram joined the scene, as it is now my social media of choice. 

Much has been said about social media — the good, the bad and the ugly. The film “The Social Dilemma” freaked many people out enough to leave, but there remain over three billion people logged into Facebook, with another 2.35 billion on Instagram and 1.8 billion on TikTok. 

In the past, I’ve used connections made via Instagram to help launch a business, to find a publisher, an editor, an audience for my memoir and to connect with new friends. Social media is packed with funny videos and quirky accounts that bring me joy. 

And yet, I find myself finally withdrawing

The onset of AI, paired with the known machinations of the algorithm, has finally turned my stomach enough to get me offline. 

I have become cynical and distrustful, wondering if anything that I’m seeing is genuine or remotely truthful. I question why I’m seeing specific posts. What made the algorithm decide I should see this? Am I being manipulated? 

Because I do feel like a pawn. And the stakes have become so high. 

I heard an interesting take on America as a somewhat “post-religious” society that claimed that politics has taken the place of religion in many of our lives. Folks identify strongly with their political and societal values, making any discussion with the opposite side of beliefs an attack on their identity. 

And much like religious wars and crusades of the past, political violence has spiked in recent times. There’s been an insurrection of the sitting members of Congress complete with a gallows erected on the lawn, an attack on Nancy Pelosi’s husband in their home, multiple assassination attempts on Donald Trump’s life, an assassination of Minnesota state representative Melissa Hortman and her husband, Mark, and arson attacks on Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro’s home and the New Mexico Republican headquarters.

I believe that social media has fed much of this violence and vitriol. People with different political views are living in entirely separate worlds. The algorithm decides what to show each of us, and the very convincing AI videos, many of which are introduced by other countries like Russia and China, explicitly attempt to sow chaos and discord.

Between AI and algorithms, social media cannot be trusted

For all its benefits, the harm now outweighs the good. And the harm is very real.

I’ve set my app timer to 10 minutes per day for Instagram. Enough to check messages, as I do use the app to stay in touch with friends. It is difficult to log off completely, as there are many accounts and public figures whom I follow that are accessible solely through social media. I want to maintain a tiny level of access so I can check in on certain accounts and happenings.

But other than that, I’m done. Beyond the concerns of manipulation and feeding hatred and discord, social media has become an unwanted distraction from the real stuff of life. I don’t think anyone will wish they had spent more time online while on their deathbed. 

I’m sick of finding myself ignoring my children to finish some random video or scrolling away while a warm breeze blows through the trees in my backyard. I’d rather be out there in the real world, taking it in with all my senses. I’d rather be creating than consuming. 

Because isn’t that what we’re here for? 

The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.