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How to support a wildfire survivor, according to someone who’s done it for 9 years
After the Tubbs Fire destroyed her sister’s Santa Rosa home in 2017, Lisa Ormond became a “survivor supporter.” Now, as Spokane recovers from its own wildfires, she shares what she’s learned.
By Lisa Ormond | FāVS News Columnist
The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News.
With over 900 structures destroyed from the Spokane Complex wildfires and approximately 65,000 people forced to flee their neighborhoods and lives, fire officials are now slowly and cautiously allowing evacuees and fire victims back to their homes.
Some will find nothing but a heap of ashes, others will be blessed to see their homes standing. In either case, permanent “scars” will be forever present on these victims, the survivors, as well as their loved ones and close friends.
It spells loss.
In the aftermath of the acres and acres of burnt ground, people of all walks of life, our community members, will be transitioning to the phase of recovery.
There is no escaping the realities of what just happened, a terrifying firestorm started by an arsonist that swept Spokane’s urban landscape offering no mercy and striking fear into the hearts of the community which ultimately burned nearly 11,000 acres across the city.
Final devastation assessments are pending while the embers still smolder and the smokey skies try to clear. Spokane’s Mayor Lisa Brown described this firestorm as “the worst natural disaster our region has faced.”
My own story
With sincere gratitude for committed firefighters’ efforts and slightly agreeable weather conditions, Spokane is gaining ground on returning to a “normal life.”
But I imagine nothing will ever be normal again after losing a home, security and way of life. Still, after the initial shock passes, the journey of recovery, rebuilding and healing becomes a reality and will begin.
I know what this feels like because I, myself, am an evacuee of a firestorm in Moscow, Idaho. In addition my son, who lives in Airway Heights, was near evacuation from the Spokane Trails Fire on Aug. 1. I was on fire watch 24/7 for several days leaving my front door open for him and his cat Maple if needed. Fortunately, the threat passed with changing wind conditions.
More importantly, I am a “survivor supporter” for my California family members who lost their homes to firestorm devastation in 2017. Like a badge of honor and love, I proudly embrace the label and have served in this role nearly nine years by their sides.
My family’s loss
On Oct. 8, 2017, the Tubbs Wildfire devastated Northern California wildfire destroying over 5,600 structures, killing 22 people. Approximately 245,000 acres (nearly 400 square miles) burned and 100,000 residents had to evacuate, many with only the clothes on their back.
The flames were so intense, especially in two Santa Rosa neighborhoods (Coffey Park and Fountaingrove) that they produced fiery tornados, flipping cars, uprooting trees and ripping garage doors from hinges. My sister was a resident of Coffey Park for over 30 years.
At that time, there was no well-planned, county evacuation warning system but instead what happened was a terrifying, gridlock of cars backed up on roads trying to escape. It was an exercise in trying to outrun a fast-moving wildfire that was visible in the rearview mirror.
Residents quickly just abandoned their cars and ran on foot so as to not be overtaken by the bellowing flames that already engulfed their neighborhoods. The word frightening doesn’t exactly cut it when describing this scene of terror. It was more than that.
When the Tubbs Fire struck, I was living in Moscow, Idaho, two states away from my family.
The long road
For years, I helped my loved ones navigate this loss — the overwhelming grief, the red tape of federal agencies, local authorities, insurance companies, the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the utter chaos and confusion that arose from trying to simply survive while rebuilding.
My sister would call and text me all times of the day for years if she smelled smoke, the wind kicked up, air bombers were heard overhead and/or when a red flag weather warning was issued. To this day, she never lets her gas tank go below one-half in case immediate evacuation is necessary. She also has an emergency go bag ready primed near the front door.
It took years to rebuild homes in the Santa Rosa area because there was a shortage of contractors, laborers and building materials. There were lots of delays. Nothing happened as expected or wanted. There was also a shortage of rental housing that ensued in the disaster’s aftermath making temporary housing nearly impossible to locate.
When I asked my sister what the hardest part about being a fire victim was, she said it was asking others for help, humbling herself to receive such basic necessities like toothbrushes, pajamas and food. She told me it is one “club” she didn’t care so much to be a part of, the fire survivor club.
Love on them
As a survivor supporter, it is important to commit, comfort and never leave the fire victim. Here are a few tips to please consider.
- Always answer the phone or text. Be present, listen and offer attentive care in conversations and with small-to-big tasks needing done. Take the garage out, do grocery shopping and laundry. Let them tell their story. Grieve with them empathetically.
- Put their needs wholeheartedly first; be selfless, generous and charitable. After my sister lost everything, I immediately went out and bought and mailed a box of necessities including clothes, shoes, jackets, family pictures, etc. She still thanks me.
- Be patient. Give grace realizing each person is doing the best he/she can while trying to find their new life’s road to stability. If anger or frustration shows up, be peaceful.
- Pray for and with the survivor. Offer to take them to a church service, a healing Mass even.
- Celebrate and rejoice the small wins. Lots of options to consider so use your imagination like cards, special dessert, replacing a favorite music album.
Forever changed
The journey of rebuilding, recovery and healing is not a walk of one; it is a walk of many who stand with the survivor.
But the good news is there are many positive outcomes that will come from the ashes. I can testify to this fact. I personally experienced with my own family closer familial bonds, improved relationships, more appreciation for the simple daily happenings and joy, and the “skill” and ability to keep a more balanced perspective about what really matters while letting go more easily.
As my pastor, the Rev. Mandanu Sleeva of St. George Catholic Church shared at a recent Healing Mass, when we look back at our lives, what has transpired, those past events should change our life going forward, change us now.
“He will repay us in graces and blessings according to our conduct,” Mandanu reflected.
This certainly is a worthy goal to strive for in the years ahead as we stand with these courageous Spokane fire survivors who will be looking for the new meaning in their lives they have been given.
Serving others
How to approach and help fire victims who are loved ones, friends and/or community neighbors varies widely based on the victim. Clearly, there is no right or wrong way to be a survivor supporter. But please know the role is a windy, emotional road and is a full-time job likely for years. Be cheerful and motivating.
Below are resources I found to be helpful.
- 5 Actionable Ways to Support Someone Grieving | Psychology Today
- 11 Ways to Support Someone Who’s Grieving | Psychology Today
- Ways to support someone who is grieving – Harvard Health
- The Mourner’s Bill of Rights – Center for Loss & Life Transition
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