Revoice empowers LGBTQ+ Christians holding to traditional sexual ethics

By Cindy Hval |FāVS News

Twenty years ago, if you told Steve Lympus that he and his wife would be sharing about their mixed-orientation marriage at a breakout session this summer at the Whitworth Ministry Summit, he wouldn’t have believed you.

Nor could he have envisioned that they would one day lead a mixed-orientation marriage retreat.

But both events took place because they discovered Revoice, a community of like-minded believers.

Closeted in Kalispell 

Growing up in Northwest Montana, Lympus didn’t have the language for the same-sex attraction he experienced. Words like queer or gay weren’t used in any positive context in the church of his youth.

“All I knew is we were called abominations,” he said. “I didn’t even come out to myself until college.”

After graduating with a degree in journalism from the University of Montana in 1996, he went on to earn a master of divinity degree from Regent College in Vancouver, British Columbia, in 2003.

While attending seminary, he made connections with students and faculty who also struggled to align their sexuality with their faith.

Sexual orientation and a traditional Christian biblical view of marriage

Lympus said some of his new friends had been wounded by the conversion therapy movement or “pray the gay away” theologies and were searching for a pathway to healing.

“The healing was found in community,” he said.

Knowing he wanted to pursue full-time ministry, he considered his future.

 “There’s an idolatry of marriage and family in the traditional Christian church,” he said. “How crazy is that because we follow Jesus, who was single, celibate and never married?”

But some denominations were already moving to embrace the LGBTQ+ community.

“I looked down the road and knew eventually I could be married to a man, but I just couldn’t get there theologically,” Lympus said. 

He adhered to the traditional Christian view of marriage as being between a man and a woman. In Christian theology, the church is often described as the bride of Christ.

“Sex difference in marriage matters,” he said. “The Bible is book-ended by marriage. Human marriage points us to our marriage with Christ in eternity.”

Mixed-orientation marriage

Lympus made peace, both with his identity and his theology.

“I’m gay — that’s not changing, and I don’t feel called to celibacy,” he said. “I feel called to be married to a woman.”

In 2002, he was ordained in the Presbyterian Church (USA).

He met his wife in Seattle at a church where he served as the youth pastor, and she was a high school leader.

“I came out to her on our second date,” he said. “She put her arm around me and said, ‘We’ll figure it out.'”

They married in 2004.

“A mixed-orientation marriage (MOM) is where one or both spouses experience same-sex attraction in a traditional marriage between one man and one woman,” he said.

Finding Revoice

At first, they felt alone in their unconventional relationship — a minority within a minority.

“We felt like we must be the only couple like this,” Lympus said.

Laura Lympus nodded.

“But I love our marriage,” she said. “What I needed most was someone who could be an emotionally-connected and supportive husband. Steve has been that in spades.”

Four years ago, Laura Lympus discovered Revoice online.

They were raising their four adopted kids in Spokane, where Steve Lympus served as the pastor of Shadle Presbyterian and Laura Lympus worked for Big Table, a Christian non-profit helping people in the restaurant and hospitality industry.

Revoice launched in 2018, when a group of Christians gathered to support and encourage one another in their faith. Most of them were gay/same-sex-attracted, and all of them believed that the Christian faith required them to live within the confines of a traditional sexual ethic.

Their mission is to support and encourage gay, lesbian, bisexual and other same-sex attracted Christians — as well as those who love them — so that all in the church might be empowered to live in gospel unity while observing the historic Christian doctrine of marriage and sexuality.

Revoice didn’t find a warm reception from conservative or progressive faith communities.

“Backlash was fierce,” Steve Lympus said. “But it’s such a joyous movement. We believe in the traditional Christian theology around marriage, but we accept and embrace all orientations.”

Coming out

Discovering a community and finding other marriages like theirs proved life-changing.

“We attended an online Revoice conference, and I wept the whole time,” he said. “There were other people like me!”

Laura Lympus felt that same sense of loving acceptance.

“Worshipping with the Revoice community felt like I was worshipping with the marginalized church,” she said. “There was a joy and a hope in the midst of suffering.”

Steve Lympus felt empowered to come out, first to their teenage kids and then to his congregation. His revelation was met with love, acceptance and support from both.

New avenues of ministry

In 2022, he and Laura returned to campus ministry when they accepted the position of house parents at Alpha Omega House, a Christian housing community for young adults at the University of Montana.

That year, they also attended their first in-person Revoice conference in Texas.

“We were asked to co-lead the prayer team with another couple,” said Steve Lympus. “We looked around and saw 30 other couples just like us.”

Last year, he joined the staff of Revoice as the director of community engagement.

“I get to pastor leaders as they’re holding space for others, and I get to start new chapters,” he said. “I can’t start new chapters fast enough.”

Currently, the ministry has 31 chapters across the U.S., and by fall, they will have 40. Most meetings and support occur online, augmented by yearly in-person conferences.

“Revoice has to exist for healing to happen,” Steve Lympus said. 

MOM-Con

In June, he and Laura Lympus led a breakout session at Whitworth’s Ministry Summit.

“We had amazing conversations around the table,” said Steve Lympus.

In July, they co-led the first-ever marriage retreat for mixed-orientation marriages. They called it MOM-Con.

It took place in Seattle, just ahead of the Revoice conference.

“MOM-Con was amazing — truly holy ground as these couples had never been offered help and connection specifically for who we are in our queer marriages,” Steve Lympus said. “For Laura and me both, being present when God lifts the church’s shameful weight of homophobia so that people get the love and care and discipleship they desperately need was a gift beyond measure.” 

Life-giving community

The progressive faith community hasn’t always been welcoming of MOM couples or same-sex attracted individuals who adhere to a Biblical definition of marriage.

“There should be room at the table for those who differ theologically,” said Laura Lympus. “We don’t condemn those who disagree with us. I deeply love my queer friends who are married. I want to spend eternity with my affirming friends. There’s room in the church and the Kingdom of God for both views.”

Revoice has proved pivotal in providing support for churches who want to better serve the LGBTQ+ community and for those within the community who believe in a traditional theology regarding sexual ethics.

“At the heart of everything I do with Revoice is a deep desire to help LGBTQ+ and other same-sex attracted Christians find the supportive, Christ-centered community we all long for,” Steve Lympus said. “Too often, we don’t find this in churches. Many of us have experienced shame or pressure either to hide who we are or to embrace beliefs that don’t reflect our convictions. The kind of community we need — one that holds space for both faith and orientation — is rare. And when we find it, it’s life-giving.”