Why LGBTQ+ youth deserve better than ‘Christian love’

By Luke Grayson | FāVS News Columnist

A phrase I see a lot in some of the exvangelical groups I’m in is: “There is no hate like Christian love,” which unfortunately feels especially true during Pride month. Those who hate us seem to get infinitely braver, louder and more incoherent every year. Even growing up when I was taught that being gay is wrong, it never made sense to me. Why would we choose to hate somebody and teach that they’re evil, just because they dare to be a little bit different?

I’ve always known that I was different. Growing up, I never really had “crushes”; never felt like a girl; never understood those who are hyperfeminine or hypermasculine — like the girls who took two hours to get ready for school in the morning because they had to do their hair and makeup or the boys who sprayed Axe during every passing period and lunch as if their lives depended on it. 

It feels like I’ve written this a million times, always trying to justify my community’s existence, always trying to explain what it’s like to be trans. It feels like everywhere I turn, every comment I read is screaming that my existence is wrong. That we’re all sick, or predators, or trying to turn cisgender children trans or take away their parents’ rights to choose what is best for them.

“Christian Love” and the Pride Month Backlash

I see a lot of comments saying people are tired of seeing everything being about Pride and everything being rainbows, because we’re the ones that are pushing it and putting ourselves in the media in the middle of a storm. But the main people who are throwing us into the media spotlight, who are talking about us, are not us at all. It’s the bigots, the elected officials and those who are too ignorant to understand or want to understand. 

A friend recently shared this post. I commented, “It’s hard when the ‘leaders’ of this country want us dead just for existing.” The comment that followed was someone else saying: “You’re reaching on this one. No one cares who has sex with who. Were all honestly sick of hearing about it. What we do care about is murdering babies and chemically castrating children. Be gay, love who you want. Just leave the kids alone. God Bless🩵🤍.” This just reaffirmed the point that there’s truly no hate like Christian love. 

No one is murdering babies or chemically castrating children. No one is trying to convert them or expose them to anything that’s fundamentally wrong. We’re just trying to say that it’s OK if they are gay or bi or trans or queer, that there’s nothing wrong with them if they are. They deserve happiness and respect, because of the end of the day they’re still a human, a child of god, someone deserving of living a life of authenticity. Because they do. They matter. And they deserve to know that they matter before they make the choice to try to end their life. 

Because our community’s suicide statistics are high enough, our life expectancy is too low, our rate of family rejection is too high, our odds of being physically, verbally, sexually assaulted are too high. I know because I constantly have those numbers in my head, because my friends and I are among these statistics and we never should have had to be. We shouldn’t still have to be fighting for our right to exist, to be happy. Our own Constitution says that Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness are unalienable rights that belong to all of us. 

Hope for a Future Where Being Human Is Enough

I recognize that many in my current day interpret this quote is differently. I recognize that this has not been true for BIPOC, women and other minority groups that have had to fight for their rights. But I do believe that they did truly mean everyone, not just white people, not just straight and cisgender people and not just citizens, but every living breathing human.

I hope one day I won’t have to write things like this, that I won’t have to fear walking into a public bathroom, that my rights won’t constantly be debated, that my morality won’t be seen as skewed just because of my identity. 

I hope that future generations of queer youth won’t have to experience what those of us who come before them have. I hope that one day it will be seen as deplorable to hate people for who they love or for how their brain was formed and whether it matches their body or not. I hope one day this city, this world, will simply see us as human and nothing less.

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The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.