By Janet Marugg | FāVS News Columnist
Right now — wherever you are — there exists another dimension: a pseudo-world called “The Manosphere.” I know because I Googled a sporting good item for my husband while researching Zoroastrianism’s patriarchy and was promptly spammed with ads for church-run “man camps” or men’s “retreats.” Some of these are where guys go to beat on their chests and crawl through the mud while being screamed at to produce the delusion of being strong “alpha” patriarchs.
I asked my husband if he would pay me to yell at him while he crawled through the garden by the beans and tomatoes before doing his best Tarzan over by the pea vines. He grimaced his answer, so I immediately lowered my price. “Free” got me the full dismissal, a shaking head and his retreat to the other room. I shrugged for his loss. I might of joined in. Mud is a fine medium.
Strength and the Manosphere
The joke is this: Masculine strength is about protecting the weaker. That is all. That is the model of our heroes forever now. (It is also the model of womanhood — of feminine strength — especially maternity, but I’ll leave it to readers to find that joke.)
Spend any time in this manosphere (I don’t recommend it), you will hear distorted echoes of stoic concepts from dead Roman men — Zeno of Citium, Seneca and especially Marcus Aurelius. But only in today’s commercially hyped manosphere can something as simple and encouraging as “the strong protect the weak” get turned into commercialized aggression-fueled man camps.
This fascinates me because when I read Aurelius’ “Meditations” I see only what young Aurelius learned from his mother, what we all can learn from the women who bore us and who cared for us at our weakest, our childhood protectors.
Aurelius knew that things learned from women can make a strong man and wrote of his mother’s influence. She is responsible for such wisdoms as, “You do what’s right, not because there are consequences for doing wrong, but because it’s inconceivable to you to be the kind of person who would try to get away with something.” She was probably tired of parental policing and needed Aurelius to behave on his own for a while.
True Strength
But I am not surprised to find today’s distorted manosphere unaware that their beloved Roman stoic philosophers were among the first men to advocate equal rights for women. A sign of true strength is security enough to be unthreatened by equality. But today’s manosphere is more a He-Man Woman Hater’s Club and that tells me one thing: there is no strength there.
There’s a lot of malevolence in the world, but the poison in this well of the manosphere is rooted in a primitive patriarchy. Since Zoroaster’s day, patriarchy has been the gateway to the weaknesses of misogyny, xenophobia, bigotry and racism. That’s a lot of weakness.
The distorted stoicism and patriarchy in today’s manosphere pushes masculinity as an unrealistic control of things. But that is not the result intended by the Roman stoics who knew that incessant grasping for control is the surest sign of weakness.
What we have learned since Zoroaster is that patriarchy, especially religious patriarchy, infantilizes people and attempts to enforce a system of rigid roles and expectations that clearly limit human potential. It over-emphasizes body parts and sticks people with antiquated ideas that prevent a person’s ability to experience mature, authentic relationships. Patriarchy is a pricy weakness.
Personally, I think the stoicism of ancient Rome and the patriarchy of Zoroaster is not for the ethics of today’s capitalism. Today’s march of men into the manosphere’s lucrative world of nutritional supplements and patriarchal strong-man roles should be done with care.
Signs of Insecurity
Unconscionable as it is to take advantage of weak minds, the manospshere has monetized insecurity. It’s a system where insecurities will always need to be fortified with more supplements and patriarchal reinforcement coaching and this circular commodification of a man’s mind is like watching a man drown in weak sauce.
Sadly, there is no regulatory body to check the ethics of men’s “retreat” curriculum and methods of instructing. There is no accreditation or licensing board. No psychologists on staff. No women. Nobody to challenge the ideological distortions inside the manosphere.
We should aim for the ethically developed strong-man education programs that teach one thing: strong people, by definition, are those who protect people with less power. Strength is demonstrated by caring for others and protecting those who are weaker and is never gained by punching down.
The last thing a man who struggles with insecurities needs is more of the patriarchal system that gives him insecurities. Too often I forget to mention the Secular Therapy Project where trained volunteers mentor and connect people with licensed therapists who use science-based mud-free methods of assisting a person with religiously imposed patriarchal insecurities.
A note on the language of the manosphere: human beings do not need “alpha” males or females. We are not canines. We differ from our closest primate relatives with animalistic primitive alpha hierarchy by our brain’s developed neocortex and frontal lobes where we can reason and override our primitive amygdala – our “lizard brain.” The amygdala’s primitive insecurities are ripe for the exploitation of the manosphere and patriarchal systems. Sadly, outside of the limits of primitive patriarchy, we can conceive of better ways to live with the kind of equality and justice that bring peace. Peace, especially inner peace, is a sure sign of strength.
The views expressed in this opinion column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of FāVS News. FāVS News values diverse perspectives and thoughtful analysis on matters of faith and spirituality.
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